This Week’s Tweets

  • Someone please tell me those white chunks coming out of the sky are mini-marshmallows. Please. I'm begging here. #
  • I just typed the sentence, "You're going to have to go get your tits smashed naked faced?" to my mother. That's normal, right? #
  • *looks out window, squishes eyes shut, puts fingers in ears* La, la, la! This isn't happening! It's really 80 and sunny, right? #
  • Science says I should be an erotic dancer. Science fail. http://sprocketink.com/?p=2073 @sprocketink #
  • This block smells like fried chicken and babies. I dunno which of those things is making me hungry. #
  • Hail AND lightening? You're over selling it, Winter. Shoo. #
  • You've always wanted a hand painted ukulele of your very own, right? Well then come win one! http://wp.me/pueVq-1GK #
  • I have a wicked case of onion breath. Who wants to make out with me? #
  • Holy drag queens and sequins! Priscilla Queen of the Desert is rocking my freaking tiara off. #
  • I like to fill my afternoons with full frontal male nudity, so I'm off to see High on Broadway! #

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