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It’s crunch time for this wedding o’ the century and Gwatt have started to discuss music. Obviously, I’ve already made the selections for the bull riding segment (basically this song on endless repeat), but the bride insists on focusing on the trivial things like walking down the aisle and the first dance. Yawn. If they would just burst [...] So first? You guys rock. Almost as hard as the incredibly gorgeous Sarah. I have nothing but big squishy cartoon hearts for you all. Well, that and a whole mess of gratitude. But I’m not going to talk about that anymore today because it’s Friday, I need something fluffy, and I haven’t told you a thing [...] There are days when I can’t imagine ever leaving this area. Then I read the Travel section of the New York Times and I can’t imagine ever staying in this area. But then I spend a random Saturday wandering around an abandoned military installation overrun for the day with artsy hippies, and I know I’ll never [...] I’m a little melancholy today. Don’t panic, I promise this isn’t all doom and gloom. There’s plenty of obscenities, ass smacking, unicorns, bunnies, and gangsta rap if you just stick with me to the end. It’s just been a funny week so I’m having trouble focusing. One of my favorite people on earth had a little setback [...] I’ve spent the last five hours trying to convince myself I don’t need this. So far, it’s not working. My only hope is that something pinker and hairier will come along quickly and capture my increasingly fleeting attention span. (As per usual, that sounded way dirtier than I intended.) It’s all Gwen’s fault, of course. I was [...] It’s kind of been a crazy couple of days. A lot has happened since my last ramble. I’ll try and hit the highlights…in order, of course. I read some seriously entertaining story submissions for my little contest. Want to win your very own Elly drawing? Of course you do! Here are the details. I bought a house. Technically [...] I think it’s safe to say Spring is here – as evidenced by the copious amounts of mucus currently congealing in the back of my throat. It seems like Mother Nature is finally going to let me wear a pair of cute shoes as opposed to the galoshes and snow boots I’ve worn exclusively for the [...] So back at an under appreciated old married hag of honor in the mud… Gwen and I are butting heads. For some reason, she just won’t embrace my vision for her wedding. I mean, just who does she think her wedding day is all about? I swear… She’s turned down each and every one of my wedding dress [...] I’m trying to be patient. I’m trying to be supportive. I’m trying to be understanding. I’m really trying to be the best damn old married hag of honor I can be. I’m trying…. I’m trying not to smack the shit out of my favorite bride to be. Gwen has had a tough couple of months both professionally and personally. [...] |
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