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 It’s a tiny bit early, but I have to pause and wish a happy Father’s Day to the cutest dad in the history of the universe. And I’m not just saying that because Mom tells me he’s rigged some sort of fancy, home-made cat toy down in his wood shop involving paper balls and a [...] I Sprocketed this morning. Obviously I’m getting enough fiber, after all. No really, slide on over there to check out the most offensive political ad ever created in the history of all time. I left my girls down in Virginia with Mom and Dad. Their base camp is Dad’s wood shop. When I left, [...]  If I ever win a Tony, I sure do hope it’s a year when NPH is hosting. I’ve already planned my acceptance. First, I’ll lick my award – Paula Deen style, y’all. Then, I’ll forgo a formal acceptance speech and dedicate my window of time to presenting a clear, concise (possibly bulleted and with full illustrations) [...] So long story short, suddenly I have to have the entire apartment packed up by Tuesday. As a result, I spent large chunks of yesterday dumpster diving for boxes. In other news, I’m a little pungent. But the moral of the story is, just ignore all the boxes and the ridiculously tall bed behind me. Also, [...]  I’m the worst Jim Henson fan ever. I didn’t realize yesterday was the anniversary of his death. Then again, I always think it’s nicer to celebrate the anniversary of someone’s birth. Which, for Jim, is September 24th. But I saw this video this morning and there’s no way I’m going to remember to save it until [...] I just got another “Status of the Parasite” email from the creepy BabyStalker website. Apparently F.T. has webbed hands and feet now. Gross. Also? It’s tail is almost gone. Double gross. Lastly? In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. He's Got Rocco's Forehead Which I read as, “In [...] I just spent ten minutes trying to figure out how to open my mouse to replace the batteries. The brain is not working. Hence the title of today’s post. But I can’t whip out that line and not tell you about the cyborg. See, we have some friends. Two of those friends got married, had sex, got [...] Bad news. I’ve been racking my brain for days (ok really only the past 30 minutes or so when I realized what today is) for some witty and creative April Fool’s prank for today’s post. I’ve got nothing. I am devoid of funny. I can’t decide if I should blame chemo brain, allergies, or Rod Stewart. Even [...] They weren’t supposed to leave until tomorrow, but that Mom o’ mine is like a horse. No, she doesn’t have disturbingly large nostrils and front teeth…much. Once she smells the barn there’s just no keeping her away. Also, I may or may not have worn them the fuck out. Mom’s seventy year old knees do not take [...] |
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