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It’s cold, rainy and brutally depressing here in the North East. Yay. It’s been a long hard week, Interwebz. Just to recap, it all started with a relaxing dinner where I sucked royally at preparing a family friend for his first round of chemo. Then I held my friend’s hand as she looked at her sweet dog’s [...] Look out Dad; I’m going to talk about my honey pot again. (Rocco insisted I use that word. He thinks its HIGHsterical.) Well, it’s not my vag up for discussion exactly. This is more of a shout out to all the Twilight fans out there that also possess vaginas. Well technically you don’t actually NEED a vagina [...] My Library Card Six years after moving here, I FINALLY got my very first Hoboken Library Card! I’m so excited I could spit. It’s a magical wonderland of literary goodness! I’m still all aflutter from the rush of it all. I’ve always loved libraries. There’s just something magical about the musty wet old book smell permeating the [...] BahROOSE I always forget just how much fun a Bruce Springsteen show can be. While I enjoy his records, I rarely crave his music or seek out a particular song. As an artist, I’m not sure he’d even make my top twenty list. That doesn’t mean I don’t love the hell out of seeing his ass [...] I finally did it. I turned off my subscription to Netflix. I’m doing the unthinkable and mailing back their copy of Twilight. Of course, I’m only able to do this because my enabler, Gwen, purchased me the limited edition three disc version from Target with all sorts of bonus features. I think she just wanted someone [...] I’m not sleeping so well these days. You’d think the cooler nights and increased consumption of wine the past two weeks would have me sleeping like a baby, but no! Seems I keep having these weird, horrible nightmares – and they’re always about my mouth. I think it’s Rocco’s fault of course. (It’s always easier to blame [...] It’s funny. Well, it’s not so much funny as in “ha ha” funny. Then again, it’s not really funny in a “weird” sort of funny way. I guess it’s more of an “awkward” funny, like “wow-that-mime-is-restringing-a-tennis-racquet-while-singing-”kookaburra-sits-in-the-old-oak-tree” kinda funny. No, that analogy totally leaves out the disturbing angle. I guess it’s more of a “small-shackled-child-in-mime-makeup-restringing-a-tennis-racquet-while-singing” type of [...] Question: What do you call 10,000 lawyers on the bottom of the sea? Answer: A good start. We’re finally off to the aforementioned good start. I just mailed a big ‘ol mamajamma of a check to retain my new lawyer, Bob. So far, I’m pretty sure he’s nifty. He was recommended by my original lawyer and I’d hire [...] The Bible Fish gotta swim. Birds gotta fly. Elly’s gotta read the Bible. I don’t know what possessed me to try and stop. That’s like trying to convince a rainbow to stop being a rainbow for a second – Mango to stop being Mango. Such is Elly. I was wrong, so wrong, to even try. I did go [...] Mom: So your father and I watched that Twilight movie you keep mooning over. Me: Yeah? Mom: Yeah. I don’t get it. Me: Really?! Mom: Yeah. He’s not very good – and strange looking. And I can’t stand watching that chick. She’s absolutely horrible! Me: I never said it was good. In fact I think I expressly stated the acting was [...] |
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