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BahROOSE I always forget just how much fun a Bruce Springsteen show can be. While I enjoy his records, I rarely crave his music or seek out a particular song. As an artist, I’m not sure he’d even make my top twenty list. That doesn’t mean I don’t love the hell out of seeing his ass [...] Simone Possessed I’m a horrible person. My poor cat has been through absolute hell the past few months – HELL I tell you. So how did I react when I saw her poor blind self walk right into the ottoman, bounce off, and hiss? I laughed. Loudly. Yup, no wonder I was afflicted with the creeping [...] Mom: So what do you have planned for the day? Me: The usual – squeezing a stinky banana smelling concoction down Simone’s throat, writing some ramblings, frolicking in the ‘boken. Mom: Too bad you aren’t closer… Me: I’m making guacamole for lunch. You should come SON OF A BITCH!! JESUS H. CHRIST! YOU’RE KILLING ME! HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL. [...] Sinister forces seem to be at work in the ‘boken. Clearly there’s some strange chemical in the water or some airborne hallucinogenic substance being carried by the breeze. I can think of no other explanation for my sudden urge to harness my inner Ina Garten and get my baking on. The Gloved One Before I launch into [...] The Goose I think (knock on wood) that Lucy Goosey is in the clear. I have based this hypothesis on several pieces of evidence. The vomit-a-thon has ceased. Oh she still does that weird trick where she occasionally gets so excited she regurgitates her undigested food in the form of one solid soggy stinky log. She keeps the food in [...] Holy niftiness, Batman! As you well know, I’ve been desperately pining for a little patch of dirt ever since I moved to the city. I often daydream about what veggies I would cram into the fictitious garden I tend in my head. There would be kale, brussel sprouts, strawberries, and tomatoes. Copious quantities of tomatoes! Nothing [...] Dynamic Duo I think there must be something wrong in the cat-o-sphere. It all started about two weeks ago when Simone fell to pieces and suffered a wicked UTI because her weak little kidneys and murmuring heart are starting to run out of steam. A week later, Gwen’s cat Sebastian had a heart attack. Now this [...] Ugly Josie Todd and Meg have one of the ugliest kitties I’ve ever seen. Even they admit that she’s one ugly kitty. Their reasons for picking Josie were two fold. One, no one else would. All the people that walked through the shelter giggled and turned up their noses when they took a gander at this girl. Meg felt plain old fashioned [...] Two months later, we’ve finally heard back from our title company. The news ain’t good. I guess it isn’t horrible, either. First, let me back track and catch you up. Many years ago in a magical land called Washington Heights, our hero (I won’t use the feminine version in case Thom reads this – you know his [...] New weird post chemo body alert! Well, I don’t know if it’s actually chemo related or more an indicator that I need to eat more bananas. Regardless, I’ve been having this crazy cramping in my hands and feet. It’s really cutting into my productivity. How is a girl to paint concrete ‘shrooms when I can’t undo [...] |
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