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When you open the door of your apartment to find your boxer-clad husband standing awkwardly with a kitten in one hand and a jar of some unknown substance in the other, the last thing you want to hear him say is, “Hold on, I was just blocking a hole that the cat just came out of.” *blink, [...] Mildred has arrived. She’s already ruling the apartment with an iron paw. She also spends a lot of time walking in circles around my neck which is mildly distracting – and a-frickin-dorable. She Totally Got Stuck I think she might be stupid. I can already hear you dog people, “All cats are stupid.” Well boo hiss to you. [...] As I mentioned, I (and my gravity defying boobs) have suddenly been thrust (good boob verb, right?) into the whole I-really-have-to-dig-in-and-get-some-shit-done-and-fast world…and it’s kicking my ass. Hard. As exhibited by that incredibly well constructed paragraph and the brain sludge that is leaking out of my ears and pooling within these lace edged demi cups. I love you, [...] You might be surprised to learn that I have some pretty weird friends. I’ll just pretend you all responded correctly. In case you’d like to play along at home, any of these responses will work: Gasp! What?! Not you!! For example, I have a friend that we affectionately call Creamed Corn. You need not know the reason [...] Dad: So how are you holding up? Me: I’m ok mostly. This week has really been full of ups and downs. Dad: That’s just par for the course. You do live on the [...] She’s back. I collected her ashes on Tuesday. It’s nice to have her here with me, sitting on my desk as usual. Yes, it’s a tiny bit morbid and I’m working on it, but I think my shrink is almost as upset about Simone as I am. Both of us are going to need a little more [...] My Simone She smelled like maple syrup. I’ve got no idea why or how, but she did. She’d crawl into my lap and trill in her kitty way that it was time for some sweet, sweet lovin’. I’d rub her kitty cheek bones, stroke her long black hair and lean in for a deep breath of [...] Remember my tale of the kamikaze bird that scared the bejeezus out of my ass while in North Carolina? Can you imagine how crazy that would have been if the window had been open? No? I can – because it happened yesterday. I was running late (as per usual) to meet Matt and Gwen for the quintessential [...] All is not well on the kitty front. All isn’t bad exactly, just decidedly not good. We went back for more tests to see if any of the new drugs were working. The answer? In a word, no. Turns out her teeny tiny heart is now kicking out a BP of over 300. They also called Saturday [...] Yesterday I awoke to the cacophonous thunder of honking. Rolling, relentless peals ripped me from my surprisingly sweet and nostalgic dreams. While my mornings usually start with the bleating of horns bouncing off the buildings that line Fourteenth Street, I was not in Hoboken – I was home in Virginia. I opened my [...] |
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