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It’s snowing again. *cracks knuckles* It’s making me twitchy. But the upside to ass tons of snow every three days, is catching up on some of my reading. And not just Penthouse Letters. I finally finished Carrie Pilby, written by another Hobokenite, Caren Lissner. It’s damn witty. You know I’m a sucker for witty, Interwebz. …having a car [...] There’s just too much pressure to write something profound and inspirational today. Go ahead and call me chicken, but one of my single greatest skills is avoidance. I’m also really good at changing the subject. You know who just said something profound and inspirational last night? My other non-sexual crush – you know, wee adorable Kurt from [...] Congratulate me. I’ve achieved an entirely new level of cranky pants. I blame winter and Natalie Portman. Oh hell, why not blame Rod Stewart, too? I haven’t yelled at that fucker in a while. I saw Black Swan last night. *turns frantically at the sound of rustling fabric, screams maniacally and grabs handset from fax machine to [...] It’s still raining. It’s still cold. I’m still uke-ing. Bridget Callahan, this is your fault. I know, brooding isn’t really my color (coincidentally, neither is orange based on the video below), but you picked a sad song. Sad songs sound weird on the ukulele. It’s kinda like performing a dirge on a kazoo. Or Rod Stewart [...] Yup. It’s your favorite time of the month, Interwebz. Yet again, I’m going to prove that my readers are even more whacked in the cabeza than I am by sharing the frightening searches that bring new viewers here to my vagina-infused world. Sickos. “putting out fire with vaseline” – I just lost five minutes of my life [...] It started over lunch with a friend. Melissa is smart as a whip, well spoken, and deliberate with every thought and action. But for some reason, she is still willing to occasionally meet with my grammatically challenged ass to discuss writing and gab about life in general. Melissa: “I have to tell you about this book I’m reading.” Me: [...] Today’s grammatically correct and well written post is from the surprisingly tall RySal. You can normally find her baking away while listening to They Might Be Giants over at For The Birds. She has, quite possibly, the sexiest set of legs I’ve ever seen. But because I was warned she was a wee bit shy, I [...] Learning how to play the ukulele is really cutting into my surfing-the-internet-for-really-weird-stuff time. For the record, it’s totally worth it. I’m having the best-est time ever. In fact, I’m trying to figure out how I can work Herbert into my old married hag of honor toast at Gwatt’s wedding. (Performing “Take a Letter Maria” probably isn’t [...] As you probably noticed, I’ve been a little off my game for the past week or so. There have been no references to glitter. I’ve broken three drinking glasses. My house is dirtier than Lindsay Lohan’s crotch. My fridge is emptier than Sarah Palin’s mind. Hell, I don’t think I’ve made a vagina joke in days. Yesterday, [...] *drags forward a fair trade certified, paraben and phthalate free soap box, gives it a little dust off, climbs on, clears throat* Rod Stewart is the Antichrist. No wait, that’s not what I wanted to talk about today. Though while we’re slightly off topic and I’ve already made one reference to parabens and phthalates, please please PLEASE go [...] |
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