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Left Boob: This is it. This is the time it’s going to work. I can feel it. Right Boob: *snicker* Left Boob: No really! I’ve been working out – you know – pumping like mad. Paul: *latches on* Left Boob: Oh yo! Here we go! Paul: *whimpers, scowls* Right Boob: *snickers* Left Boob: C’mon kid, you’re giving me an inferiority complex! Right Boob: I [...] Summer may be over, but that doesn’t mean we can’t spend just a few more moments reliving the glory days of August…and the bizarre search terms people used to find this place. So pull back out your white pants and flip-flops, smear a little zinc on your nose, and ignore that chilly rain…at least for the [...] Here we go again, Interwebz! Since I missed sharing all the gory June details with you due to that whole move and national holiday thing, today you get DOUBLE the frightening search results that led people to my douchey little blog. Well not double exactly. Or even kind of. It’s really the same amount I give you [...] It’s May. A new month. One that will be sadly devoid of tequila for me, but a new month none the less. Which of course means it’s time to learn more about all the sick little monkeys trolling the internet that occasionally stumble into my little BugginWorld. And as usual, I’m scratching my head like a [...] I know I should write about this Osama stuff, but honestly it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Something just feels horribly wrong about celebrating any sort of death. I mean, I wouldn’t even wish it on Rod Stewart. Much. September 11th was easily the scariest, most confusing day of my life. But I know I was one of [...] Dear Winter, Why the fuck are you still here? Seriously. It’s March! What’s with this in with a lion, out like a lion bullshit? It’s not supposed to snow in March. I’m pretty sure it says so in the Geneva Convention. Or maybe the Treaty of Versailles. Regardless, you’re breaking international laws here and I won’t stand [...] Mmmm Broadway. I’ve been making out like a bandit with the free tickets again lately. God it’s good to be a theater slut. I’m going to tell you about them in the hopes that maybe you’re planning a trip to NYC where you’ll work me (and some shows) into your itinerary. Last Wednesday I scored an invite [...] You ever have someone try and turn you on to something that just doesn’t quite fit you, but you can still tell it’s really, really awesome? Even if you don’t enjoy it as much as you probably ought to? You know, like The Dave Matthews Band, or imported stinky cheeses, or anal sex. Yeah. So I just [...] I think I have a new boyfriend. His name is Aloe Blacc. Aloe like the plant. Blacc like the…um…blacc. I can’t get this song out of my head. (Hey, hey.) Also? I need backup singers to follow me around and punctuate my pauses with harmonized exclamations. (Hey, hey.) Also I’m going to try to say things like [...] |
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