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Apparently it’s going to take me more than three months to not squirm at the “m word.” And no, I don’t mean moist. So. I’ve been a…*cough*…a mo…*swallow*…a moth…*cough, cough*…a mothe…*ahem*…a MOTHER (there I said it!) for three months. Three months. THREE. MONTHS. (Hey, Jenny Slater.) Also? Please don’t expect me to call Rocco “Dad.” “Dad” lives in [...] Not that this song is for Danny. Well, not the Dan/Dannys I know anyway. I imagine Kenny Loggins wrote it for some Danny somewhere, but this uke is for Rocco. I guess I could have entitled it Rocco’s Uke, but then you’d expect a video of him playing and singing. Or maybe you wouldn’t. Maybe you’d [...]  So. Um. Hi. I don’t even know where to begin. I’m not even sure I’m really ready to begin. You know what, let’s just start with a picture. Yes. Paul is here. And while I’m trying to comprehend the enormity of him – his size, the responsibility, the relief, the emotions – I’m a big ol’ ball of [...] Doctor: So your baby is in the 90th percentile. Me: Fuck. Doctor: There are certain risks for a vaginal birth with a baby of this size. Me: *deep breath* Doctor: Even if you can pass the head, you’ve still got to contend with the shoulders. They can be damaged when we pull him out. Or – if he gets stuck [...] I did it. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to, but I did. I would have probably chickened out if it hadn’t been for Rocco. And now I’m super glad I did. I went to see the new movie, 50/50. Just in case you don’t watch TV, or listen to the radio, or interact with any sort of [...] Just so we can document (again) how very bad I am with electronics, I’m sad to tell you I’ve killed my computer (again). While I try to resurrect this bitch (again) I’ll distract you with a video (again). Say, even though it’s nowhere near Easter time, do you think that whole being all ordained and shit thing [...] So it’s almost October – which used to signal apple cider, birthday cake, and Halloween for me. Now it’s the month where I dread the arrival of pink-themed merchandise and magazines filled with heart-wrenching tales of loss to breast cancer. And this year it’s especially hard because there’s been an awful lot of breast cancer awful close [...] So I’m officially done leaving the house until I’m on my way to the place with the epidurals. I can’t even take a walk around the block without getting stopped by someone who wants to talk about the weather balloon I’m smuggling under my shirt. “When are you due? Do you know what you’re having? Is this [...]  So I killed another cell phone. I’m really quite talented when it comes to electronics, don’t you think? So for those of you keeping count, this will be my 11th Palm Pre since July of 2009. No idea why HP isn’t going to support the technology anymore. *sigh* But in the process of cleaning out the phones, [...] I have an appointment with yet another paint roller, so I’m just going to give you this little musical interlude. Feel free to sing along. I’ll be belting it out on top of a ladder with Mildred.
And no, I don’t know what is up with me and Neil Diamond this week. I think I’ve [...] |
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