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Yup. It’s your favorite time of the month, Interwebz. Yet again, I’m going to prove that my readers are even more whacked in the cabeza than I am by sharing the frightening searches that bring new viewers here to my vagina-infused world. Sickos. “putting out fire with vaseline” – I just lost five minutes of my life [...] Maryland is a strange place, Interwebz. After our long, uke-filled car ride, we were eager to get settled into our room at the world famous Hampton Inn of Fruitland. A ridiculously chipper blond manned the desk. I plopped Herbert, sheathed in his powder blue bag, atop the counter and began rummaging through my bag. “Checking in,” I [...] I’m back, bitches. I’ll give you the highlights of Ocean City next week, but I would be remiss if I didn’t at least try and convey what it’s like to spend hours in the car with my husband and little brother. This basically sums up all the conversations we had…you know, in between Thom plunking away [...] I thought we were in the middle of a recession? I thought we were all supposed to be living a little leaner, spending a little wiser. So why the hell are they wasting my tax dollars? As I’ve mentioned countless times before, I live just above a bus stop. That’s pretty exciting when it’s pouring rain or [...] I enjoyed Ocean City. I think I figured out why it was so comfortable…I’ve been there before. It was just called Myrtle Beach and was a few states further south. During an excursion one day I commented that we must be close to home because we just passed the Rita’s Gelato place and the Dough Roller. [...] Is it weird that the one thing guaranteed to make me smile when I’m in a funk is to listen to other people sing along with music in the car? We were on the way back from the beach and Thom had mad mad skillz. Unlike Rocco, he DOES have both a sense or rhythm and [...] Ocean City has had some rather entertaining moments. Because I’m an old lady and therefore no fun, I generally go to bed before everyone else. As a result, I seem to get up three to four hours before everyone else can regain consciousness from their alcohol induced comas. After drinking my tea and doing my morning [...] I’m sitting on a pastel plaid couch listening to the sea and breathing. The only boxes I can see are those housing board games. Every now and again a Frisbee flies above the top of the dunes and pops into vision. It’s a nice break from the desolate wasteland that is our apartment. And where’s poor Rocco? [...] |
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