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Save your “oh but I LOVE the snow” vagina face for someone who cares. I hate Snow. Snow is dead to me. It’s simply over between the two of us. Snow and I will never, ever get along. Just stop trying to get us back together already. We were in love once, you know. We were young, [...] As a general rule, I’m not a very picture oriented blogger. Sometimes though, words simply won’t suffice. Last weekend was such a time. Game on. Thom and His Candle Dad in His Scrubs To the left is my little brother Thom. People say we look A LOT alike. I suppose it’s hard to tell in that picture, [...] Although Dad’s retirement party was snowed out, we still managed to keep ourselves entertained. Drew and Kate even made it out from Durham. The conversations only get worse when you add in another brother. You HAVE to be getting tired of these little fly-on-the-wall excerpts, but I just can’t stop myself. So here’s one more. Fortunately I’m [...] I’m back in the ‘boken after traveling well over a thousand miles in under eighty hours. I’m crunchy. I’m stinky. And I’m still haunted by the fruity/chemical taste of the endless Bojangles and Diet Mountain Dew fueled burps that my brother consistently managed to blow into my open mouth every time I turned to yell at [...] After sharing such tasty treats from the Salad Cookbook, Mike decided to peruse the Casseroles volume of the series. Before you run away screaming, I promise there’s no jello. Yes, There's a Whole Set Mike: Corned Beef Casseroles – PLURAL! *page flipping* ‘Shallow rectangular glass dishes are the backbone of casserole cookery.’ Me: Find me something really gross. Mike: [...] I drove all the way to North Carolina to bond with my dad and escape the cold yet here we sit surrounded by drifts of white, icky snow. Hoo-motherfucking-Ray. Both Born in the Sixties Our oldest brother Mike managed to land just before the snow hit. We spent the morning listening to him quote recipes from an [...] Listen up ya mess o’ Yankee bitches. Yes I’m talking to you…you AND your Pyrex using, Pam spraying ways. I’m tired of y’all messing up cornbread. It’s time for an intervention. As they say back home, listen up and pay attention so I can learn you right. This isn’t some highfalutin, fancy society cornbread. The results bear [...] It’s painfully cold here. As I type, I feel the frigid breeze sneaking in through the air conditioning unit at my side and crawling over my toes to slink back out the poorly sealed chimney. As I mentioned earlier, I found an old notebook full of short stories, random observations, and snippets of conversations. I vividly remember [...] Welcome to the end of 2009, bitches. I can’t decide how I’d rate the year. It was five million times better than 2008, and not just because the lack of toxic chemicals being pumped into my system allowed me to remember and experience the year. That certainly helped, though. Then again I went and drank a whole [...] |
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