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What happens when you mix a singing NPH with ponies, unicorns, rainbows and glitter? Only the best possible thing ever. Also? SQUEE!
Oh shit, multiple people have done it. DOUBLE SQUEE!
Heh. That pony said “balls.” Ok, one more. Because you can’t possibly have enough [...]  With each pre-baby project we finish, I lose one more distraction to keep me from obsessing about the impending obliteration of my bits and that whole feeding-and-care-of-your-killer-newborn-overlord thing. Not that I obsess. Ever. That’s totally not my personality. *pauses to adjust welding goggles hanging from life-sized cardboard cutout of NPH* But I’d be lying if I denied that [...] It turns out adrenaline and rainbows will only get you so far, Interwebz. When drunk on happiness, one should really not assume one can climb mountains with a bowling ball wedged between their colon and lungs. If one was foolish enough to attempt such things, one might have a monster back ache, ankles the size of [...] So why didn’t anyone tell me a Glucose test involved getting stabbed four times? FOUR. I look like a junky. Or a cancer patient. Or someone on dialysis. Or a pregnant chick that just had her blood drawn four times. I’m losing control of this analogy rather quickly. Speaking of things I’m rapidly losing control of, let me [...]  If I ever win a Tony, I sure do hope it’s a year when NPH is hosting. I’ve already planned my acceptance. First, I’ll lick my award – Paula Deen style, y’all. Then, I’ll forgo a formal acceptance speech and dedicate my window of time to presenting a clear, concise (possibly bulleted and with full illustrations) [...] If your Monday attention span is half as bad as mine is….did you say something? Huh. I could have sworn I heard did you happen to notice where I put my house keys? I wonder if Rocco remembered to forward the I haven’t seen Lucy in at least two hours. I hope I didn’t seal her [...] How the hell is it June already? Did May even happen? Did the Rapture suck up a mess of hours instead of pious people? Do cell phones cause brain tumors? Oh wait, that last one is a little off topic. Blame Sprocket. Or just go read my thoughts on the subject here. Meanwhile, back to the post at [...] The only thing better than drinking a pitcher of beer with my brother Thom is drinking a pitcher of beer with my brother Thom while we play with a cellphone some fool at our table left unattended. That sentence seems awfully bold on second read. To be perfectly honest there are probably a zillion things better [...] I’m full of the twitch. (And I don’t mean the lovable superstar hip-hop phenom from SYTYCD. Though being full of Twitch probably wouldn’t be all bad. Crap, four sentences in and I’m already in the gutter. That’s gotta be some sort of record.) I’ve been upping my caffeine intake to try and combat my NoGoFreBouScanNoMo brain sludge. [...] Me: Is this the coolest thing you’ve ever seen? *shows page from catalog* Ripped From the Latest Signals Catalog Rocco: Since when do you like Jane Austen? Me: No, the t-shirt! Rocco: *blank stare* Me: *singing* Now bring me prisoner 24601, your time is up and your parole’s begun. You know what that means? Rocco: *blank stare* Me: *whispers* Sing, “Yes it [...] |
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