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Mom: So are you all ready for this afternoon? Me: Yup. The litter is scooped. The floors are spotless. The kitchen canisters are in the oven. I’m ready to go. Yes, the kettle is in there, too. Mom: The canisters are in the oven? Why does that sound familiar? Me: Didn’t you do that once? Then you forgot they [...] “Shuttlecock” is probably my most favorite word ever. It’s that or “Omaha.” Then again, I really like “Texture,” too. It’s possible I just like words. And excuses to say shuttlecock. While it's not Central Park, it's still quite lovely. …which brings me to today’s story. Yesterday we had yet another open house (this time TWO WHOLE PEOPLE [...] Operation Keep Elly Distracted seems to be in full effect. I can’t count the number of amusing emails people have sent over the past couple of days with the subject of “made me think of you.” It’s some weird shit. My reply? I think that if that made you think of me then clearly you think I’m [...] This morning I awoke to the sweet dulcet tones of Mildred wailing as she tried to claw her way out of the water bowl she’d somehow fallen into around 6am. Seriously. I’m starting to wonder if managed to find a kitten even dumber than Lucy. Thanks for all the sweet comments and notes yesterday, Interwebz. I didn’t [...] Just call me Grumpelstiltskin. I’m crabbier than Lindsay Lohan’s couch cushions and I can’t seem to break out of my funkagawea. Even reading a slew of vagina-related comments this morning on yesterday’s post didn’t pull me out of my funk. Well, that’s not exactly true. Apparently I’m just not in a vagina mood. When Britt introduced the [...] I’m finding the whole space/time continuum thing really tricky today. Entire hours are disappearing right before my eyes and somehow I’m not accomplishing anything! *pauses to alphabetize “They Might Be Giants” CD’s on desk – tries to break world record for amount of time faux tap-dancing while seated – answers call from realtor trying to schedule [...] First off, I just saw something that made me laugh so hard I peed a little. I’m just going to assume you need to laugh that hard too so:
I’m pretty sure that little girl is singing “Big Booty Bitches” while she stomps on those tulips. I certainly can’t stop. First thing I [...] Well THAT went well. Who knew that I actually DID have an April Fool’s trick up my sleeve? Granted, it wasn’t really intentional but I think it still counts. Yesterday evening, if you thought you might saunter over here to my little BugginWorld and catch up on the latest in vagina news, you were in for a [...] After nine long and expensive months, I am pleased to say we now have a clean title on our apartment. Also, as an added bonus, THEY (ya know, the MAN and his goons) can no longer seize my apartment if the guy across the hall defaults on his mortgage. Who would have ever thought it would [...] |
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