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Mom: So. An entire post on a uterus? Me: It could be worse, you know. Rocco: If you say so. Me: You two should be grateful I write about plushy reproductive organs. I could write a blog post about all my past romantic endeavors. Or how hard my childhood was. Mom: Either way, that’s a short post. Ladies and Gentleman, my [...] I just got another “Status of the Parasite” email from the creepy BabyStalker website. Apparently F.T. has webbed hands and feet now. Gross. Also? It’s tail is almost gone. Double gross. Lastly? In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. He's Got Rocco's Forehead Which I read as, “In [...] You know how last week I told you about all the awesome good things you could do with your money instead of buy holiday gifts? Well I really meant it, but sometimes you still have to come up with actual gifts for the peeps on your shopping lists. So in the interest of making your last [...] The only thing better than drinking a pitcher of beer with my brother Thom is drinking a pitcher of beer with my brother Thom while we play with a cellphone some fool at our table left unattended. That sentence seems awfully bold on second read. To be perfectly honest there are probably a zillion things better [...] Seeing as how today is Veteran’s Day and both my parents are veterans themselves, I’m going to say thanks to them for their service by not making a single vagina joke in today’s post. Instead, I’ll just point you to this fascinating article on cricket testicles. The tuberous bushcricket’s testicles account for 14 percent of its body [...] Mom: Now would be a good time to lie, honey. Me: While I am quite capable, I’m not doing it right now. Mom: You mean you’re not writing a blog? *sigh* Me: Not a fan of today’s post, eh? Mom: You know, I much prefer the ukulele ones to the vagina ones. Me: Well wait until I figure out how to put [...] I just spent twenty minutes ironing a shower curtain. I know what you’re thinking. “Surely, the end of the world is coming.” But never fear, Interwebz! It’s not that ominous. Though, to be honest there is something coming that has me all flustered and overwhelmed – my Germans. Well, not ALL my Germans are coming. Tripe won’t be [...] Well damnit, I’m still tired and crabby. Even after spending the morning scouring the internet and reading my favorite blogs, I’m not cheered up. Seems like everyone is wallowing in a little funk. So I’m guessing maybe you need a little pick me up, too. That’s why I’ll tell you a little something that always makes [...] Me: Hi Pookie. Don: You answered! I thought you’d be busy with your genital origami. Me: My genitals are at Wicked. Don: You’re at Wicked right now? Me: No Rocco is. I know it’s not really your area of expertise, but there aren’t a whole lot of installations you can create with labia. Don: Oh. So what are you doing [...] |
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