The Apple and the Tree

Mom:  (singing) Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen.  Nobody knows but Jesus. Me:  …and that bitch TALKS. Mom:  Christ, Elly.  You’ve such a trashy mouth. Was that good for you, too? Then click here and follow my Facebook page. Or even better, join the mailing list. Free pony with every […]

Sunrise

I padded down the carpeted steps, pausing on the landing to absorb the lavender light pouring through the floor-to-ceiling window. Turning to descend the last several steps, my grandfather’s milky eyes supervised the endeavor as he peered out from the family portrait at the bottom of the stairs. My attention […]

Grandpa

My grandpa died yesterday afternoon – a nice, quiet, painless death at the age of 88.  Now his body will go to Duke where they can collect what they need, then he’ll be transported back to Marion, NC where he can join his wives. I don’t usually do re-posts, but […]

October

So it’s almost October – which used to signal apple cider, birthday cake, and Halloween for me.  Now it’s the month where I dread the arrival of pink-themed merchandise and magazines filled with heart-wrenching tales of loss to breast cancer. And this year it’s especially hard because there’s been an […]

As Stephen Lynch Would Say

Mom:  So how did the sonogram go? Me:  Ok.  He’s only “slightly above average.”  Once she was actually able to process what I asked, the doctor confirmed he is NOT Jabba The Baby. Mom:  Well both you and Thom were almost 10 lbs. Me:  I feel like maybe you’ve mentioned […]

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