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 If I ever win a Tony, I sure do hope it’s a year when NPH is hosting. I’ve already planned my acceptance. First, I’ll lick my award – Paula Deen style, y’all. Then, I’ll forgo a formal acceptance speech and dedicate my window of time to presenting a clear, concise (possibly bulleted and with full illustrations) [...] The trees look like Muppets this morning – their leaves bouncing in disjointed, hyper-animated movements, beckoning and warning me simultaneously. There I see an alligator. Over there, just above the doorway, I see a small crab. Then suddenly the wind ceases and so do they. I love the rain. Not just because it knocks down all the [...] It finally happened. Spring finally showed up in Hoboken. And I feel like this:
I know, I know. Spring has allegedly been here for weeks. But it didn’t FEEL like true Spring until yesterday. I walked out of the apartment wearing a fleece jacket instead of a giant, super-puffed down coat. The headphones of my iPod [...] Are you ready to do this again? I swear these just get weirder and weirder. I’m not even including all the things people want Paula Deen to lick. See how good I am to you people? “i’m going to kill you in the face“ I had an incredibly rough morning where a man I’d never previously [...] So if you haven’t figured it out yet, the wicked talented Bridget Callahan spent the New Year with us here in the ‘boken of Hos. Swing on over to her place and see the beautiful pictures she took of my wee town. She made me fall even more in love with Hoboken, which is NOT an [...] Every fall, I take my tall black boots to a tiny local shoe repair shop here in Hoboken – Giovanni’s D’Italia Shoe Repair shop on the corner of 7th and Washington Streets. After three short days and a mere seventeen smackeroos later, my boots are returned to their original patent leather beauty with un-cracked soles, and [...] Election time in Hoboken always makes me giggle. Our last mayor held office a whopping twenty-three days before he was arrested by the feds for embezzling. In fact, most of our former mayors are currently serving time in a penitentiary situation. Corruption is kinda our thing. I know, you’re thinking, “Of course it’s corrupt, it’s JERSEY.” And [...] I’m always late. Always. Maybe just sometimes. Ok fine, almost always. I know you’re never going to believe this, but sometimes I get distracted. For example, I just lost thirty-five minutes watching that new Kanye West video. I don’t even like Kanye. Unless you count that first record. That shit was brilliant. But still, I’m not sure [...] I didn’t sleep much last night. I’d love to have you all think that’s solely because I stayed up far too late watching those Chilean miners being rescued. (Which I did and OH MY GOD THE SON of that first miner had me bawling so hard I started coughing and dripping snot into poor Mildred’s cone [...] Before I regale you with tales of my poor cone-headed Mildred, swing on over to check out today’s Craftastrophe. I’m going to learn how to crochet and make one of these for everyone on my Christmas list. You’re right, my lazy ass will probably end up sticking red and green bows on cans of Coors Light and [...] |
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