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So this weekend I was reading through some old journals and came across this excerpt from June 10th, 2009. Walnuts looks like vaginas. Just thought I’d share. Now see, I’m not sure I’m ready to go quite that raunchy on the blog yet, but I guess we’ll see. Oh how far I’ve fallen in a mere thirteen months, [...] It’s crunch time for this wedding o’ the century and Gwatt have started to discuss music. Obviously, I’ve already made the selections for the bull riding segment (basically this song on endless repeat), but the bride insists on focusing on the trivial things like walking down the aisle and the first dance. Yawn. If they would just burst [...] So first? You guys rock. Almost as hard as the incredibly gorgeous Sarah. I have nothing but big squishy cartoon hearts for you all. Well, that and a whole mess of gratitude. But I’m not going to talk about that anymore today because it’s Friday, I need something fluffy, and I haven’t told you a thing [...] Seeing as how it’s Pride Month and I’m in Chicago recovering from a 7am event (after a dinner event last night and a 7am breakfast event in Detroit yesterday) I’m just going to share a little snippet of a conversation with my little brother, Thom. We were out to dinner with Matt and Gwen in the [...] There are days when I can’t imagine ever leaving this area. Then I read the Travel section of the New York Times and I can’t imagine ever staying in this area. But then I spend a random Saturday wandering around an abandoned military installation overrun for the day with artsy hippies, and I know I’ll never [...] I’m a little melancholy today. Don’t panic, I promise this isn’t all doom and gloom. There’s plenty of obscenities, ass smacking, unicorns, bunnies, and gangsta rap if you just stick with me to the end. It’s just been a funny week so I’m having trouble focusing. One of my favorite people on earth had a little setback [...] My throat feels like I blew a porcupine. I’m sure there is some magic concoction I can create with my impressive collection of pharmaceuticals that can cure me of this weird cold/allergy attack/migraine/triskaidekaphobia/hang nail, but I just haven’t found it yet. *forehead bounces off desk* I’ve been thinking a lot about Vaseline lately. Everything is better bedazzled. I don’t [...] I’ve spent the last five hours trying to convince myself I don’t need this. So far, it’s not working. My only hope is that something pinker and hairier will come along quickly and capture my increasingly fleeting attention span. (As per usual, that sounded way dirtier than I intended.) It’s all Gwen’s fault, of course. I was [...] Breaking news, Interwebz – Smart People Drink More Alcohol. Some data fiend decided to see how data on drinking habits correlated with all sorts of other fun factors like religion, education and politics. Educated godless liberals with large vocabularies, it seems, enjoy a beverage more than most. This just in – Educated godless liberals with [...] |
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