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I am the worst pregnant chick ever. “How many weeks are you again?” my friend Gwen asked just the other day. “I’m pretty sure I’m in the second trimester,” was the most specific answer I could give her. Thank goodness I signed up for one of those newsletter thingies that reminds me once a week how pregnant I [...] An embarrassingly long time ago, I started a little something I called my Portrait Project. I had all these grandiose plans of blazing through a portrait a week, solving world hunger, and somehow sculpting my arms into perfect replicas of Michelle Obama’s guns. Four months later, I’m way behind on all those plans. Instead, I’ve managed [...] As I’ve mentioned before, one of my favorite people on the face of the planet is about to abandon me and move to Michigan. (Yes Michigan. Like she couldn’t leave me for someplace sunny like Cancun, LA, or Seattle?!?!) Danielle is my go to museum buddy, so we decided to cram in one more exhibit before she [...] Sometimes They Can't Be Saved I broke my two river rule AGAIN this weekend. Here’s a little clue to manipulating the Elly – tell me you’re moving back to Michigan in three weeks time and I’ll follow you everywhere you go in an attempt to cram in as much quality bonding time as humanely possible…even if [...] Danielle: Pardon my apartment, the mouse situation is getting worse. Me: You should get a cat. Danielle: I have a system. Me: This I gotta hear. Danielle: I shove these plastic shopping bags under the doors so I can hear a rustle when they come out of hiding. Me: …and what do you do when you hear rustling? Danielle: [...] Sunny Fall Day I love Central Park. What’s not to love, really? Well I suppose there are the stinky homeless guys, the piles of horse shit, and the tourists with their never ending photo ops…but how is that different than any other area of Manhattan? Yesterday was absolutely beautiful. A nice day seems incredibly hard to come [...] I tell ya, I have been making out like a bandit. The musical theater gods are smiling on me and I like it. Apparently the stories about my never saying “no” are making the rounds on the Great White Way. (That sounds far dirtier than I intended…so of course I’m leaving it!) There are a few rules [...] On the Bridge Well. I’m glad I did it, but holy crap that was miserable…and I’ve got the cold to prove it. First and foremost, gold stars and David Lee Roth kicks for my team. I can’t decide if my respect for them has increased because they made it out in such shitty conditions, or if it’s [...] |
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