NoGoFreBouScanNoMo

My brain is a little sludgy lately.  I’m not sure if it’s this cold that won’t go away or the weather.  Actually, I’m pretty sure I know exactly what it is.  I’m getting anxious about my next appointment with Aloysius.  November 30th.  Three weeks.  Twenty one days.  Dude.

A lot of you are participating in NaNoWriMo (National [...]

Relief

As you probably noticed, I’ve been a little off my game for the past week or so.  There have been no references to glitter.  I’ve broken three drinking glasses.  My house is dirtier than Lindsay Lohan’s crotch.  My fridge is emptier than Sarah Palin’s mind.  Hell, I don’t think I’ve made a vagina joke in days.

Yesterday, [...]

Heartache

My heart hurts.  My dear cousin Sarah has cancer.  Again.  Fucking cancer.

I know I’ve told you about her before.  She’s a force of nature, a beacon of light, a…hell, she’s just plain magic.

Me and My Mascot

When I was diagnosed, she was pregnant with her little miracle boy.  Despite her own trials [...]

Grumpelstiltskin

Just call me Grumpelstiltskin.  I’m crabbier than Lindsay Lohan’s couch cushions and I can’t seem to break out of my funkagawea.  Even reading a slew of vagina-related comments this morning on yesterday’s post didn’t pull me out of my funk.

Well, that’s not exactly true.  Apparently I’m just not in a vagina mood.  When Britt introduced the [...]

Lunch is the Most Important Meal of the Day

Day 5.  No cell phone.  I’m about this far *making same hand gesture I use to describe Tom Cruise’s penis* from painting a keypad with my own blood onto a volleyball and calling it Webster.  Fortunately, I don’t think I can fit a volleyball in my back pocket.  If the real Webster 7.0 doesn’t show up [...]

Why Weekends Make Me Tired

It’s kind of been a crazy couple of days.  A lot has happened since my last ramble.  I’ll try and hit the highlights…in order, of course.

I read some seriously entertaining story submissions for my little contest.  Want to win your very own Elly drawing?  Of course you do!  Here are the details.

I bought a house.  Technically [...]

The Archangel of Hair

As I mentioned yesterday, in anticipation of going into an office somewhat regularly, I decided to get a haircut.  I wanted something between my usual Super Cuts and the mad expensive Bumble and Bumble of my previous life.  I strolled down Hoboken peering in windows, trying to find a salon that struck my fancy.

I came across [...]

I Have a Brablem (Part One)

Before we get started here, why don’t you stroll on over to Craftastrophe and check out my latest find.  It’ll put hair on your chest.  Literally.

Speaking of which, I’m going to mix it up, Interwebz.  Today, rather than talk about my vag as per usual, I’m going to talk about my boobs.  Who says I’m a [...]

A Random Shoe Story

I think it’s safe to say Spring is here – as evidenced by the copious amounts of mucus currently congealing in the back of my throat.  It seems like Mother Nature is finally going to let me wear a pair of cute shoes as opposed to the galoshes and snow boots I’ve worn exclusively for the [...]

I Swear It's Not Porn

I know I write about my vagina a lot.  Ok A LOT a lot A LOT.  But I still hesitated when SEXIS invited me to write a piece for their webzine.  I went to my brother for advice.

Me:  I got a call back to write for a sex magazine.

Drew:  make me a [...]

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