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I look like I had some serious redneck lovin’, Interwebz. My face is all swollen and I occasionally have to spit blood. Seems my dentist found a fourth cavity when he dug out the first three. Chemo is hell on the teeth, I tell ya. I’m sure my affection for cheesecake is completely unrelated. Also, I stopped [...] My brain is a little sludgy lately. I’m not sure if it’s this cold that won’t go away or the weather. Actually, I’m pretty sure I know exactly what it is. I’m getting anxious about my next appointment with Aloysius. November 30th. Three weeks. Twenty one days. Dude. A lot of you are participating in NaNoWriMo (National [...] As you probably noticed, I’ve been a little off my game for the past week or so. There have been no references to glitter. I’ve broken three drinking glasses. My house is dirtier than Lindsay Lohan’s crotch. My fridge is emptier than Sarah Palin’s mind. Hell, I don’t think I’ve made a vagina joke in days. Yesterday, [...] My heart hurts. My dear cousin Sarah has cancer. Again. Fucking cancer. I know I’ve told you about her before. She’s a force of nature, a beacon of light, a…hell, she’s just plain magic. Me and My Mascot When I was diagnosed, she was pregnant with her little miracle boy. Despite her own trials [...] Just call me Grumpelstiltskin. I’m crabbier than Lindsay Lohan’s couch cushions and I can’t seem to break out of my funkagawea. Even reading a slew of vagina-related comments this morning on yesterday’s post didn’t pull me out of my funk. Well, that’s not exactly true. Apparently I’m just not in a vagina mood. When Britt introduced the [...] Day 5. No cell phone. I’m about this far *making same hand gesture I use to describe Tom Cruise’s penis* from painting a keypad with my own blood onto a volleyball and calling it Webster. Fortunately, I don’t think I can fit a volleyball in my back pocket. If the real Webster 7.0 doesn’t show up [...] It’s kind of been a crazy couple of days. A lot has happened since my last ramble. I’ll try and hit the highlights…in order, of course. I read some seriously entertaining story submissions for my little contest. Want to win your very own Elly drawing? Of course you do! Here are the details. I bought a house. Technically [...] As I mentioned yesterday, in anticipation of going into an office somewhat regularly, I decided to get a haircut. I wanted something between my usual Super Cuts and the mad expensive Bumble and Bumble of my previous life. I strolled down Hoboken peering in windows, trying to find a salon that struck my fancy. I came across [...] Before we get started here, why don’t you stroll on over to Craftastrophe and check out my latest find. It’ll put hair on your chest. Literally. Speaking of which, I’m going to mix it up, Interwebz. Today, rather than talk about my vag as per usual, I’m going to talk about my boobs. Who says I’m a [...] Welcome to the end of 2009, bitches. I can’t decide how I’d rate the year. It was five million times better than 2008, and not just because the lack of toxic chemicals being pumped into my system allowed me to remember and experience the year. That certainly helped, though. Then again I went and drank a whole [...] |
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