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Breaking news, Interwebz – Smart People Drink More Alcohol. Some data fiend decided to see how data on drinking habits correlated with all sorts of other fun factors like religion, education and politics. Educated godless liberals with large vocabularies, it seems, enjoy a beverage more than most. This just in – Educated godless liberals with [...] Yesterday morning I noticed that my cat was blue. No, I’m not about to crack a joke about the cold weather because a) the cold is not funny, we hates it and b) for reals, my cat is totally blue. Well, not the entire cat. There’s just a chunk of bright blue fur in the middle [...] So let me preface this post by saying it is entirely possible that this will not amuse you as much as it amuses me. However, if it amuses you even a fraction of how much it amuses me, I hope you’re either wearing depends or not particularly fond of your upholstery. Then again, it might not [...] I reached over and introduced myself to the new guy at the table. “Hi, I’m Elly…Thom’s sister,” I said as I stood to extend my hand across the table. My eyes traveled upwards for what seemed like an eternity. Saying nothing, he loomed over me like a giant Asian Frankenstein. He shook my hand and sat [...] I really need to check my horoscope and see what in the hell is going on with me this week. I’m fully devoid of energy and focus. It just took me twenty minutes to figure out how to get my crock pot going. Did I mention there’s only one button on that thing? It’s hardly a [...] Rocco likes to randomly scream out newspaper headlines in the morning while I’m checking my email and writing posts for my douchey little blog. Surprisingly, it’s really hard to hear him although we’re a mere thirteen feet apart. This usually helps me block him out and stay focused on the task at hand. I worry about [...] I finally caved and bought a new phone. Rocco has been creaming for the Palm Pre ever since the press release came out. He’s been using his subtle powers of persuasion to convince me it’s the solution to all my problems. Originally I thought his motivation was just to get me a phone that actually worked [...] Sometimes I swear electronics have feelings. We’ve established my cell phone hates me, but I think my disc changer is feeling kind today. Funny how something cold and plastic can turn the day around. Between the house drama and packing up my life, I’m feeling a wee bit stressed and fretful. Add to that my upcoming check-up [...] I still hate my phone. It’s important for a relationship to have balance. It also hates me. I drop it, kick it, and generally abuse it when it frustrates me. My phone extracts its revenge by locking up at crucial moments and by employing the ancient torture method of butt-dialing. It’s one of those touch-screen numbers, but not the iPhone I not [...] |
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