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I feel like it should be raining. The sunny day somehow seems incongruous with my mood. Maybe I just need some high fructose corn syrup or something. The Frugal Repast (Le Repas frugal) Yesterday, I went to see the exhibit “Picasso: Themes and Variations.” You know I love me some Picasso. (Just not quite the same [...] My heart hurts. My dear cousin Sarah has cancer. Again. Fucking cancer. I know I’ve told you about her before. She’s a force of nature, a beacon of light, a…hell, she’s just plain magic. Me and My Mascot When I was diagnosed, she was pregnant with her little miracle boy. Despite her own trials [...] Rocco: “You sound like shit.” Me: “Imagine that! I feel like shit.” Rocco: “You slept on two pillows last night.” Me: “I fell asleep propped up so I could watch the TV.” Rocco: “That cough is getting worse.” Me: “So is the oil spill.” Rocco: *stern look* Me: *whistling, avoiding direct eye contact* Rocco: “Can you please go see a doctor?” Me: *in my best [...] Three days and two showers later, I’m still picking glitter out of my pubes. I know I prattled on yesterday about how nifty the island was, but I have to tell you about the magic that was specifically Figment, too. FIGMENT’s vision for art looks past the white-walled galleries and into the realm of participation. Art [...] I’m a little melancholy today. Don’t panic, I promise this isn’t all doom and gloom. There’s plenty of obscenities, ass smacking, unicorns, bunnies, and gangsta rap if you just stick with me to the end. It’s just been a funny week so I’m having trouble focusing. One of my favorite people on earth had a little setback [...] So first things first, I suppose. I’m all clean! Well, my CT scan is all clean. I’m still a filthy minded, hygienically challenged miscreant, but you people seem to go for that sort of thing. Who Needs Wheaties? It took all mother fucking day. I had my breakfast of champions at around 10am. But I didn’t leave [...] Just call me Grumpelstiltskin. I’m crabbier than Lindsay Lohan’s couch cushions and I can’t seem to break out of my funkagawea. Even reading a slew of vagina-related comments this morning on yesterday’s post didn’t pull me out of my funk. Well, that’s not exactly true. Apparently I’m just not in a vagina mood. When Britt introduced the [...] I’ve been trying to read Mary Roach’s Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers for about two weeks now. I think I’m done trying. It Really Is Good. Pinky Swears. I mean, it’s not that the book isn’t good – it totally is! No really! I love her writing style. I’m genuinely interested in the subject matter. [...] Day 5. No cell phone. I’m about this far *making same hand gesture I use to describe Tom Cruise’s penis* from painting a keypad with my own blood onto a volleyball and calling it Webster. Fortunately, I don’t think I can fit a volleyball in my back pocket. If the real Webster 7.0 doesn’t show up [...] If you missed the first installment of “A Tale of Two Titties” start here. I barely had time to read the poster propaganda before Nicole was back in the room, honing in on my breasts. “I’ll fasten them for you in the interest of time. Slip this on.” I pulled the swankiest straps I’d ever seen over my shoulders [...] |
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