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Brace yourself, Interwebz. I have to talk about my boobs again. For those of you desperately in need of a vagina fix (Heh. That was way more fun to type than I even imagined.), may I suggest checking out this link. (So incredibly not safe for work but still amusing.) Or this one. (Well I think it’s [...] *Dad returns from fetching the paper* "Best news ever! Oscar de la Renta has managed to combine earmuffs and headphones!" # “Aren’t you a happy baby? Yes you are. Yes you are! What a happy baby!” They cooed at each other while I aggressively scrubbed the yellow crust that had collected on a shelf support long before we moved into the house. I withdrew from the cold, white box, tripping over the cat before [...] …and so begins my annual quest to see just how much chocolate a person can consume in a single day. # I may or may not have wrapped all the presents with glue sticks and rubber bands. And Paul may or may not be covered in glitter. # Because I adore you so much, I’ve made one more uke video for 2011. Ok, technically I made it for Neil’s Sixth Annual Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert, but I’m still posting it here for you beautiful people. It’s called re-gifting. It’s the new planking. Probably.
You should definitely schlep on over to his place [...]  Dear Friends, Family, and Interwebz, Look what I made with my vagina! I’m talking about the baby, not the shuke (shirt uke, obviously). Though I guess technically my uterus made Paul. My vagina wasn’t terribly involved in the process since he was delivered via c-section, but she did get the party started. I guess we’ll just call it [...] I held the paper gown away from my body with my pinched fingers, like a pre-teen pulling at her sweater in the mirror, imagining her silhouette with breasts. “Oh for the love of nipple,” I muttered as I climbed onto the paper-covered examination table. “You ok, Hon?” Rocco asked, shifting his focus from the car seat at [...] "You smell like Craigslist." Oh how I love Glee. # Oh Interwebz, I mean to post more. I miss you sumtin’ fierce. It’s just not going very well. I’ve been working on a letter to earlier me for the past week or two. The letter was supposed to be all, “Don’t fret Elly, it’s going to get easier, if you’re going to clean the oven it should [...] |
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