Don’t Call it a Comeback

Him: So you know how sometimes I go and book the flights for our vacations without telling you?

Me: *blank stare*

Him: And then you get really mad. And then you get excited. And then you figure out all the hotels and restaurants and things to see?

Me: We are not going on vacation. We can’t even organize a trip to the grocery store. Speaking of…your lunch options are pickles, oatmeal, or frozen peas. I suppose we could put that all together…

Him: Hon?

Me: Where you saying something?

Him: And you keep saying how you miss creating and how you end up spending what little free time you have trying to make it work…

Me: Don’t.

Him: So I ordered the tickets.

Me: Wait. That’s an analogy, right? Because seriously we can’t go on vacation. Your kid can’t go more than three hours without motor-boating me.

Him: This seemed like a better investment than a vacation.

Me: It better be cheaper than a vacation, too.

Him: You need a new computer.

Me: Don’t do it.

Him: I already ordered it.

Me: It’s too much. It’s too soon. It’s too frightening. I’m not ready.

Him: He’s 18 months. We’re going to start sleep training. We’ll find you some time.

Me: But I’m nervous.

Him: Get nervous. Because I’ve taken away your excuses.

It’s on, Interwebz. I’m back. OK, maybe not BACK back like imma-post-every-damn-day back, but back. Think more like imma-post-a-couple-times-a-month-and-do-some-ukeing back.

You know what?  Do call it a comeback. Fuck that noise. I’m saying this here, out loud, for accountability. I. Am. Back.

And as you can see by the flossy new look* around here, I’m bringing Herbert along for the ride.

*No seriously. The site looks amazing, right? All the props to Jennifer. Hire her. Then give her a little cuddle. Because that will totally score you a discount. Maybe. At the very least you’ll have banked a solid cuddle.


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29 thoughts on “Don’t Call it a Comeback

  1. SWEET!!! Welcome back, Elly! And, yes, I love the new look. If I were looking to upgrade, think my wife would prefer I paid full price, though. She’s kind of possessive when it comes to who I cuddle.

  2. YES! I’ve missed you mucho. I mean, where else am I supposed to get my NPH news, if not from you? It has been a desert without you.

  3. FUCK. YEAH. I told you we’d be right here waiting for you.
    Rock that shit like you’re Richard Marx. He probably came back too, right? Betta than eva.
    \m/ \m/

  4. WOW — and you did this in AUGUST! I’m still laying in the sun with a bottle of chard rolling by my heels and you did THIS? Mind you, there are little feet running around me blathering about needing food and sugar, and—I KNOW, pretend-drunk-blogging is no longer “a thing” BUT. TOOTS my friend! or is it BALLS. Balls. yes. way better than toots. Or boobs. Inspired Boobs, none-the-less… BALLS! And let’s bring this full circle… What was my blog called?

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