Just stood by while Dad explained to the optician that "The best thing for cleaning eyeglasses is white cotton underpants." #
Virginia bound. It's about time this kid found out about ranch dressing and sweet tea. #
Must be all those years living in Manhattan, but I get a bit agoraphobic when I can't reach the toilet and [...]
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You may have already seen this, Interwebz. But I’ve watched it at least seven times and it still slays me. So I can’t risk you missing it. Thusly *said with a thick lisp*….
Me: "I need another song." Rocco: "Did you do Karl Marx yet?" Me: "You mean Richard?" Rocco: "Whatever." # Cutting out dairy is surprisingly easy…when you replace it with bacon and french fries. # God bless The Oatmeal. And hooray for Veg because she finds the [...] Everyday is an exciting new adventure in bodily fluids…and not so fluids. # *Dad returns from fetching the paper* "Best news ever! Oscar de la Renta has managed to combine earmuffs and headphones!" # …and so begins my annual quest to see just how much chocolate a person can consume in a single day. # I may or may not have wrapped all the presents with glue sticks and rubber bands. And Paul may or may not be covered in glitter. #  Dear Friends, Family, and Interwebz, Look what I made with my vagina! I’m talking about the baby, not the shuke (shirt uke, obviously). Though I guess technically my uterus made Paul. My vagina wasn’t terribly involved in the process since he was delivered via c-section, but she did get the party started. I guess we’ll just call it [...] |
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