Ass Slaps and David Lee Roth Kicks

I rocked that bitch.  Ass slaps and David Lee Roth kicks all around!  Fifteen months down, seventy more years to go.

Like a teenager who stayed up far too late watching a horror movie, home alone while her parents were away on business, I feel foolish for the past two weeks of worry, the frightful hours [...]

Theme Song for Today

I overslept.  I’ve no time to regale you with tales of platypus wearing high school friends dancing on tables constructed of jello (by the by, spicy Cajun food and high anxiety might make for disturbing dreams), but I do have time to leave you with today’s theme song.  I’m going to sing it on the [...]

Sappier Than a Nicholas Sparks Story

I’ve got rock climbing on the brain today.  “Really Elly?” I hear you asking.  “I don’t really think of you as the rock climbing type.”  Yeah well, just because I’ve never actually attempted rock climbing doesn’t mean I can’t still use it as the basis for an analogy.  I’ve never been to space, but still [...]

Snippets

I’m having one of those days.  I probably shouldn’t write on these days, yet obviously there’s a whole 800 words here cobbled into sentences and paragraphs.  The brain is limping today, so forgive me if I wander.

Sometimes cancer just sucker punches you in the face and screams, “I’m your worst nightmare and don’t you forget [...]

A Plea for Brandy

I’m a little angsty this week for reasons too long and self indulgent to bore you with.  Blame it on spending Christmas away from my family.  Blame it on chemo brain.  Blame it on the economy.  Blame it on Rod Stewart.  Whatevs.  The point is, I read the post below and got all kinds of [...]

Twas the Night Before Chemo

Since it’s a “family” holiday and all that jazz, I thought I’d try and not curse in this post.  Seeing as how that’s like asking me to not breathe, I obviously can’t do it for very long.  So I’m stealing someone else’s post.

It’s lovely, and thoughtful, and appropriate in my mind.  She also put her [...]

Planning

I dreamt I was an old lady.  I walked with a cane and wore ugly orthopedic sandals over thick rag socks.  I puttered about in the tiny cozy kitchen in my tiny cozy house as an even older Rocco handed me a beautifully painted casserole dish.  I dusted it with flour while Rocco carried a [...]

Carolina Wedding

I know I’ve mentioned my hetero life partner, Gwen, at least once or twice on this bad boy.  Well that bitch went and got herself engaged.  While I’m incredibly happy for her and grateful to her fiance for significantly decreasing the hours of Gwen maintenance required during an average week, I’m pretty anxious about this [...]

Reflections

For a supposed environmentally conscious gal, I get a ridiculous number of magazines.  I feel a bizarre mix of guilt and pressure when I see the pile of unread periodicals accumulating next to my sofa.  Sure, I could blame it all on Rocco’s inability to read the New Yorker with any sort of consistency, but [...]

Scanning for Signs of Life

First things first – in case you didn’t hear, I’m not dying.  Suck it, Cancer.  WOOT!

With the good news out of the way, I have to tell you just how miserable yesterday was.  Apparently weeks of terror are hard on a body.  I woke up this morning feeling like I’d drowned myself in a barrel [...]