Seven Toes, No Waiting

I’m trying to be patient.  I’m trying to be supportive.  I’m trying to be understanding.  I’m really trying to be the best damn old married hag of honor I can be.  I’m trying….

I’m trying not to smack the shit out of my favorite bride to be.

Gwen has had a tough couple of months both professionally and [...]

I'm a Team Player

[My phone rings...]

Me:  Mwah time is it?  Where am I?

Rocco:  Sorry Hon, where did you park the car?

Me:  Is it Tuesday?  Oh wait, you’re driving?

Rocco:  It’s Friday.  The buses aren’t running.

Me:  I think it’s on Garden.

Rocco:  K, thanks.

Me:  Be safe, k?

Merde Croissants

Me:  Are you looking forward to your trip to Paris?

Gwen:  I guess so.  I’m not very prepared.

Me:  What, like you’ve got no clean underwear?  You don’t have all your vaccinations?

Gwen:  No, I haven’t read any of the guide books or picked up any French phrases.

Me:  You don’t know any French?  Not even the lyrics to [...]

Taint My Fault

This is what happens when I leave my cell phone unattended in the presence of my sibling:

The worst part?  Thom didn’t set the reminder so I totally missed the appointment.  Poor Rocco’s been walking around with an unshaved taint for like eight days now!  I’m the worst wife ever.

Thom the Bald-tist

As a general rule, I’m not a very picture oriented blogger.  Sometimes though, words simply won’t suffice.  Last weekend was such a time.  Game on.

Thom and His Candle

Dad in His Scrubs

To the left is my little brother Thom.  People say we look A LOT alike.  I suppose it’s hard to tell in that [...]

Sock Puppets (and Other Lonon Excerpts)

Although Dad’s retirement party was snowed out, we still managed to keep ourselves entertained.  Drew and Kate even made it out from Durham.  The conversations only get worse when you add in another brother.

You HAVE to be getting tired of these little fly-on-the-wall excerpts, but I just can’t stop myself.  So here’s one more.  Fortunately [...]

Things That End in “Asserole”

After sharing such tasty treats from the Salad Cookbook, Mike decided to peruse the Casseroles volume of the series.  Before you run away screaming, I promise there’s no jello.

Yes, There's a Whole Set

Mike:  Corned Beef Casseroles – PLURAL! *page flipping*  ‘Shallow rectangular glass dishes are the backbone of casserole cookery.’

Me:  Find me something really [...]

Anonymity Sucks

Isn’t it awkward when you’re sitting at a dinner party, make a subtle reference to something you’re considering blogging about, and then having one of the guests stand up at the table, point at you and shout, “You used my name!”

Yeah, I couldn’t stop laughing either.

So now that this person reads my blog, I can’t [...]

Alien Life Forms

John (in the corner, wrestling with the champagne):  Damnit!

Everyone Else (screaming along with the TV): TEN…NINE…

Me:  You OK over there John?

John (visibly panicked):  I can’t get it open!

Everyone Else:  SEVEN…SIX…FIVE…

Rocco:  Where’s the remote?  Somebody pause it!

Yup.  It’s like THAT already.  2010 will officially be known as the year we tried to postpone with a DVR.

Coincidentally, [...]

Intimidation

Me:  I need a word.

Thom:  Oligarchy.

Me:  No, I need a specific word.  I’m pretty sure it starts with an “I” but it’s not influence or instigation.  It’s like…subconscious related.

Thom: Id?

Me:  Um, no – too profound.  Insight.  Implication.  Im…

Thom:  I’m going to need a little more here.  And stop yelling “I” words while I’m thinking.

Me:  Maybe [...]