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I wandered in and out of the stacks inside Barnes and Nobles. As I emerged from the photography aisle, I laid eyes on Rocco in the bargain section and started moving in his direction. Out of nowhere, a tiny blur of yellow and black flew by me like a manic bee, halting suddenly in front [...] A bazillion years ago, I dated a patchouli smelling, guitar playing, ponytail wearing hippie I’ll call Ryan. He was working his way through a double major in music and religion when we started dating. (Look, I went to a Quaker liberal arts college in the nineties. What else did you expect?) He was also [...] It’s Monday, it’s sunny, and there’s a whole new blog post from your favorite Elly. See? That wasn’t so bad, was it? Actually, if you want to swing on over to Craftastrophe, you can score a second Elly-infused post! Yes Interwebz, those fools decided to provide me with yet another platform for inappropriateness and sarcasm. I [...] Um. Canada? # I can’t decide which hurts more today, my brain or my uterus. I like it when everything breaks simultaneously. No really. It’s my FAVORITE. Not that my uterus is broken. It’s just leaking. If I wasn’t racking my brain with all this computer/web related stuff, I’d probably be trying to dig that bad boy out with [...] So back at an under appreciated old married hag of honor in the mud… Gwen and I are butting heads. For some reason, she just won’t embrace my vision for her wedding. I mean, just who does she think her wedding day is all about? I swear… She’s turned down each and every one of my wedding [...] I’m trying to be patient. I’m trying to be supportive. I’m trying to be understanding. I’m really trying to be the best damn old married hag of honor I can be. I’m trying…. I’m trying not to smack the shit out of my favorite bride to be. Gwen has had a tough couple of months both professionally and [...] I’m too hungover to write today I'm too hungover to write captions, too. I’m too hungover to write today I’m too hungover to braid today I’m too hungover to braid today I’m too hungover to paint today An embarrassingly long time ago, I started a little something I called my Portrait Project. I had all these grandiose plans of blazing through a portrait a week, solving world hunger, and somehow sculpting my arms into perfect replicas of Michelle Obama’s guns. Four months later, I’m way behind on all those plans. Instead, I’ve [...] [My phone rings...] Me: Mwah time is it? Where am I? Rocco: Sorry Hon, where did you park the car? Me: Is it Tuesday? Oh wait, you’re driving? Rocco: It’s Friday. The buses aren’t running. Me: I think it’s on Garden. Rocco: K, thanks. Me: Be safe, k?
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