I swear to you Interwebz, every morning I sit down at this desk and think, “How about you NOT write about this effing pregnancy today, Elly? There’s only so much people can listen to you prattle on about whether or not Fort Cervix is still on lock down. There has to be SOMETHING else to write about today.”
Then I look down.
Then I get kicked. Hard. So I stand up.
And I walk myself into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
Maybe I have myself a little snack, too.
And I head to the closet to grab some pillows in the hopes of making this hell in my lower back end, only to be faced with THE MIRRORED BELLY.
So of course I stop what I’m doing to look up at the ridiculousness of it all.
And I feel the need to express some frustration.
And because I’m some sort of glutton for punishment, I figure why not just see if I can blind myself with mounds of excessively white flesh.
Then I get all distracted thinking about how cool it would be to go all Tupac and get a bad ass tattoo.
…and then I realize all resistance is futile and write yet another pregnancy post.
*sigh*
Your hair looks great though.
Bridget´s last [type] ..Displaced Persons
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Woof. Hopefully that all gets cut off again today! I just have to find a way to waddle back to Hoboken.
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Wow. Sorry about your back, but pregnant looks good on you, you know that?
Steam Me Up, Kid´s last [type] ..The Adventure of a Lifetime, Now With More Lethargy
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You know I’m already madly in love with you. You don’t have to stroke my hormonal ego. But maybe you can stroke my shiny, flaxen hair.
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Every day I sit down at my lap top to write a post about ANYTHING! And nothing happens and then I start drinking. At 8 am, with my scrambled eggs.
Then I comment on other blogs that actually get love…like yours.
And then I see Comment Luv and it’s constant reminder of how I haven’t written anything in 9863 years.
(P.S. you look adorable!)
A Vapid Blonde´s last [type] ..FrankenBoob ©
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I’d have to be drunk to get talked into CrossFit so it makes total sense to me.
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‘Thug Life’ or ‘Dat Baby’. Coulda’ gone either way.
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I bring the baby mama drama, yo. Or something.
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You are, as they say, adoraballs.
Elizabeth´s last [type] ..Pie
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Way to stick it to Demi Moore!
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I thought about getting all Mariah and painting on a butterfly, but Tupac seemed more appropriate.
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Awww – adorable you!
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major league cuteness! (shoulda gone for Baby Phat)
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You have got to be the cutest pregnant lady ever! Pregnancy is the only time in your life will expect you to be uber proud of your belly so I say live it up and take pics of it every chance you get!
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….maybe not every chance. I’m still not sold that this thing should be documented. Sort of like the actual birth.
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You, my dear, are beautiful. That is all.
Tom G.´s last [type] ..Where’s my Laudanum?
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You, my dear, are high. I can respect that.
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You talking about “Fort Cervix” reminds me of that Onion ‘Point, Counterpoint’ article, where on the one side the woman was arguing, “I want the governement out of my uterus!” and the counterpoint was an Army Sargent or General or something arguing, “We must deploy troops to Amy’s uterus IMMEDIATELY.”
Little Big´s last [type] ..Snapshot
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You made me snarf. I can’t help but picture a tiny old general screaming, “Go! Go! Go!”
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THUG baby. You can name him Paul, but we’re going to call him P-Baby or Pump master P. Or something.
Sarah P´s last [type] ..Cynicism 101 with Dr. Fingerbanging
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So long as no one is inspired to call him Jabba the Baby due to his ginormous size, I think my vagina and I can handle any other nicknames.
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With the second pregnancy my wife burnt her baby belly on the stove-top burner. Be careful, will ya?
Your belly looks sort of like mine, except mine’s hairier. TMI. Sorry.
dbs´s last [type] ..The Little Things
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How do you know I didn’t just photoshop the hair out while I was smearing on a tattoo?
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You’ve officially gone around the bend. But that’s why I respect myself for hanging out with you.
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It’s just one more way I help people feel better about themselves. “Well at least I’m not as whackadoodle as that Elly chick.” I’m like a walking public service.
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va va voom. esp. since some of the pictures look like mountains of boobies.
All I gonna say is: More of you for us to love. <3 <3
subWOW´s last [type] ..Remember to say I Love You
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I’m all about the tummy love but I noticed you have yet to document your spectacular rack with a series of photos devoted entirely to tits. Your vagina will be bowing down to them in a matter of weeks. Nothing like a prostrate taco.
You are just beautiful by the way;0
Dufmanno´s last [type] ..I Don’t Know What To Do With This Anger
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Easy there tiger…there’s not enough room in here for those tiny point penises.
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Holly mother of God!!!
i guess l have missed quite a lot here (shiiiit)
You look beautiful, woman!
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You are gorgeous, chica.
Hellachella´s last [type] ..This Vacuum Love You Longtime.
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You, my dear, are at the top of the heap (forgive the allusion) of pregnant women. You only look like you are carrying a child, not a mac truck. You really are adorable.
lifeintheboomerlane´s last [type] ..A Guide to Life After 50
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Well I’ve got a few more weeks. Here’s hoping the parasite is on the Jenny Craig program and not packing on another 5 pounds before be bursts from my bits.
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Man, if I stick my naked belly out in front of the mirror no one tells ME I’m adorable. Then they throw me out of the store!
In other relevant questions, do you even remember what shoes you’re wearing after you put them on? Or do you have to find a mirror to remind yourself.
PS You DO look adorable!
Vegetable Assassin´s last [type] ..I Just Don’t Know, Man
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Yeah for still having an in-ny;)
Pregnancy takes over everything–Fight it hard-core!
Wildology´s last [type] ..Stress of Change: his versus mine
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Elly: You look beautiful. I cannot wait to see that
little fellow and give him a great big juicy kiss.
Congrats on our new home. For now, kiss Rocco and get
him to give you one too from me. Hugs, Sandy
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