This Week’s Tweets

  • To pee or not to pee (specifically into a bright orange jug or two) that is the question. How does one hide a pee jug during a showing? #
  • I'm going to spend the day trying to see how many times I can work the words "poppy cock" into casual conversation. #
  • "I'm glad you like my apartment, but can you leave now? I have to pee in a jug. Feel free to make an offer. On the apartment, not the jug." #
  • Holy crap they put in an offer! (And no, not on the pee jug. Sickos.) #
  • It never ceases to amaze me just how much surface area I can cover with a good surprise sneeze. #allergiessuckcricketballs #
  • Carrying around this much pee makes me have to…well…you can guess. http://twitpic.com/4k2g7w #
  • Quick – writer's block! What survival tips would you offer someone trapped in an elevator with 28 other people. Go! #
  • Thanks for the help, Interwebz! — Survival Tips for being Trapped in an Elevator http://sprocketink.com/?p=4261 @sprocketink #
  • I have 666 followers. Now watch my head spin around in circles while I projectile vomit. Tahdah!!! #
  • I'm out of attorney review! I'm going to celebrate by throwing dirty dishes and clothes about and living in squalor for a few days. #
  • There are ribs, collard greens, and banana pudding in my near future. Imma explode in anticipation. Probably afterwards, too. #
  • You know how somedays life pokes you on the shoulder and whispers, "You are one seriously lucky bitch?" Well, thank you. Every one of you. #

Was that good for you, too? Then click here and follow my Facebook page. Or even better, join the mailing list. Free pony with every subscription. Probably.

One thought on “This Week’s Tweets

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge