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Try Not To Hump Me

Let me preface this post by saying it’s all Steam Me Up Kid’s fault.  She started it.  That bitch.  She posted something on facebook about the free awesome makeover she did online, so I had to go and try it, too.  Because the allure of an orange pen can only last so long, you know?  And well…this happened:

All About the Lipstick

…and this happened, too.

Blue Shimmer is SO My Color

..and then I kinda couldn’t stop.

Because OBVIOUSLY

It’s taking all the personal restraint I possess to resist the urge to run across the street and buy me some blue eyeliner this very second instead of finishing this post.

So then I found the feature the TAAZ people call “Hot Looks.”  There they have all these celebrity looks pre-loaded, so you can click a picture of your favorite celebrity and you are instantly transformed into that celebrity!  (Don’t get too excited, Neil Patrick Harris isn’t an option.  *sigh*)

Allegedly, this is what I’d look like if I hired Carrie Underwood’s stylist:

And now I know what I’d look like if I’d stayed in North Carolina and opened a hair salon.

Next I clicked on Zoe Saldana, hoping that maybe they’d show me how stellar my ass could look:

I’m saving this look for Halloween.  Throw on some moccasins, gimme a leather dress, and my Pocahooker costume will be the envy of the neighborhood.

And here’s how the Charlize Theron look worked out for me:

Now that reminds me of someone…someone famous even…but definitely not Charlize Theron.  Oh I know who!!

Admit it, I’m totally right on that one.

Last but not least, I decided not to fight the trends anymore.  If fashion says Steve Buscemi eyes are where it’s at, then I too wanna be a chick with Steve Buscemeyes.

Well at least it wasn’t more Paula Deen licking things, right?

43 comments to Try Not To Hump Me

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