Seriously, I’m thinking about adding a toll booth on my kayak because the amount of traffic going in and out of there there days is enough to put LiLo to shame. Yet again I planned poorly for an early morning appointment so you’re going to have to settle for a video today. (Though there’s an article over on Sprocket about how much Jesus loves pole dancing.)
And while it’s “just a video,” it’s a wickedly awesome video. Pinky swears. (Thanks to KG for sending it to me!)
And be sure to come back tomorrow for my just-under-two-feet surprise. Here’s a clue: it involves citrus, and by the end of next week it’ll belong to one of you.
Oh, oh that’s the ukulele girl from Raising Hope and another sitcom (Scrubs, I think) she’s AWESOME. Which isn’t to say that you AREN’T awesome, just that you know, she’s on TV and stuff.
I’m going to stop talking now.
Amy Phillips´s last [type] ..Daily Photo
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She’s brilliant. You need not qualify your statement, pookie. I will still totally lick you.
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I love it! I hope they do a sequel about the Breast Feeding Nazi’s.
also, PUISSANCE!!!!!!
Tom G.´s last [type] ..Monuments
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i knew i could count on you to meme it, tom!
pattypunker´s last [type] ..puissance!
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I haven’t been to Patty’s place yet…
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Then get over there STAT.
Puissance!
Tom G.´s last [type] ..Monuments
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sniff…
*quiver*
sniff, sniff
Dufmanno´s last [type] ..Wretched Defiant and Fun
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The most painful cock block in the history of cockblockery.
I have secret BLUE BALLS!!!!!!
Dufmanno´s last [type] ..Wretched Defiant and Fun
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Um. You announced it so technically your blue balls are no longer secret. Though they are quite impressive.
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Oh hi.
This is where Dufmanno comes out and tells everyone that she has spent the last twelve hours laboring under the delusion that today is Friday.
Apparently it’s Thursday.
Because I don’t follow societies rules regarding space and time I was living out my Friday SECRET reveal disappointment in the alternate reality I reside in.
Carry on.
Dufmanno´s last [type] ..Wretched Defiant and Fun
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Yup, I love this!
Taradactly´s last [type] ..Harvey
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pregnant women are smug
*speeds up*
especially about their secret
your clue can eat it
everyone knows it nobody says it
you’re such a tease now
because you’re pregnant
pattypunker´s last [type] ..puissance!
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I lurv you too, Patty.
And I’m not sure you can call me a tease. Everyone knows pregnant chicks totally give it up.
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You make me so happy that you posted this video. Last year around this time…or maybe it was two years ago, I sent this video to a pregnant friend thinking she had a sense of humor.
Boy was I mistaken. You should have heard the crazy, shakey voiced email I got from her wondering what my passive aggressive problem was.
I don’t think I am really friends with her anymore.
A Vapid Blonde´s last [type] ..The Dish’s Picks Of The Week 6
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God, I hate it when the quivery shakey voice comes out.
It always makes me feel like I’ve just unintentionally stepped on the throat of an innocent.
Even if I have actually had my boot on someones neck.
Dufmanno´s last [type] ..Wretched Defiant and Fun
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That person’s neck deserved your boot. No doubt. In fact you should probably get Henry to help. Because I am sure his boot has hidden death spikes cloaked in “out in the open scare you to death spikes.” XOXO-AVB
A Vapid Blonde´s last [type] ..The Dish’s Picks Of The Week 6
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If she doesn’t like Garfunkel and Oates, I’m not sure she was ever a real friend. That’s just plain wrong.
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Love it! Because pregnant women ARE smug! But also adorable.
Andrea´s last [type] ..Long Train Running
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Swollen. Pregnant women are swollen.
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You? Smug? You’re the exception to the rule, I’m sure.
Vinny C´s last [type] ..Whats Going On
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I’d like to be the exception to the rule of gravity. I think that would be awfully fun.
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90% of my pregnant friends unfriended me on facebook after i posted that. i have a total of 5 FB friends now. *shrug* who knew some people loose their sense of humor once they get knocked up. you my friend, are an exception to the rule. and that is why i adore you.
kg´s last [type] ..Im pretty sure Im missing Algebra class right now
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I’ll friend you 27 times to make up for your loss of friends. How’s that?
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I’m a cliche. But you already knew that…. And with or without, I do care if there’s a penis.
Ry Sal´s last [type] ..Meanwhile in the Hamptons- NO BALLS!
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ESPECIALLY if it shows up in the middle of its forehead.
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I’m terrified to post this on Facebook due to my smug pregnant friends but I’m doing it anyway. Thanks in advance for helping weed out a few I’ve been trying to get rid of.
Edie B. Kuhl´s last [type] ..Beyond Gay
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Thank KG! She’s the master of facebook friend filtering apparently.
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I love this video, it gets funnier everytime I see it. Really, I just love Garfunkel and Oates. We once spent almost two solid hours with some friends just watching their videos. Fant-ab-u-lous.
Well, okay, there may have been some drinking going on as well.
Wicked Shawn´s last [type] ..You’ve Been Warned!
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I never get tired of “sex with ducks.” I also like the song.
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Fricken’ hilarious. The ‘glowers’ are the most smug. At prenatal classes I wanted to punch the glowers. With their rosy fricken cheeks and blissful happiness and “oh I feel so good” and “I have found my calling”. Whilst I sat there willing the spawn of Satan to leave my body and stop jumping on my bladder. Bite me bitches. As my farting, drink wine in front of me, son of a bitch, sperm donor said at the time, pregnancy brought out my not so inner, bitch. Really the fact I didn’t knife him at least once during each of those 9 months of hell, shows how much I love him.
Rusty Hoe´s last [type] ..A Word From Our Sponsor XIV
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YES. There’s someone else out there who hated this? Phew. I was starting to think I was a little strange or something.
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The calendar and my iPhone confirm that it’s Friday.
One last guess.
Since it involves citrus I’m going with reanimated corpse of Marlon Brando doing his Godfather “orange monster death scene”
The under two feet would be because he’s missing his legs.
Dufmanno´s last [type] ..Wretched Defiant and Fun
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Well shit. Now you ruined it.
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I hope it’s a gallon of orange juice you squeezed with your vagina muscles.
Sarah P´s last [type] ..Mommy needs her hurty bump pills
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But I don’t have any oranges! Think I can use clementines instead?
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Of course you love” Sex with Ducks”. You can never go wrong with two girls in a tub.
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I just sent this video to my pregnant daughter. She will either laugh or take out a restraining order against me from seeing my grandchildren.
lifeintheboomerlane´s last [type] ..Passenger Creates Kindle Mayhem on Transatlantic Flight
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Me likey!! Soooo funny:)….and true sometimes. Yikes.
Wildology´s last [type] ..Science versus Breast Cancer…DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES lest you die an early death
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Awesome! Love it! Totally my experience. When does the sequel regarding new mothers come out?
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I’m currently pregnant & I thought this was hysterical. So true, although I try not to be. Feeling too sick to make those comments. Please tell me it will get better…or film a new song to tell me…I deserve it!
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LOVE! They need to do a series: Pre-School Moms, PTA Presidents and Playdate Whores.
Melissa Romo´s last [type] ..Poop! Is So Funny
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[...] other completely unrelated yet related news, Pregnant Women ARE smug… it’s true. Elly posted this on her site yesterday… I thought it was worth the repost in case you missed [...]