She Don’t Uke Jelly

Want to never sleep again?  Try this article on ant zombies.  (Thanks for that, Chicken.)  With all that time I just freed up in your schedule, you’ll be able to get all kinds of projects done this weekend.  You are welcome.

Speaking of things that keep me up at night…I thought I had a head cold or something, but I just read in one of these creepy books (which seem to always have pastel covers, btw) that copious volumes of snot is another side affect of the parasite.  Just when I thought this couldn’t get any sexier.  Awesome.  So you should probably just go ahead and get used to me sounding like a male impersonator of Kathleen Turner now, k?

Thanks to SarahP of Naked Cupcake fame for the request.  Any gal that’s fascinated by vaseline and likes to immortalize her kayak in watercolors is a friend of mine.  That or she has a restraining order against me.  It could go either way, really.

Cross your fingers, Interwebz.  Rumor is there’s a couple interested in my apartment.  So between your happy thoughts and my stuffing St. Joe’s hollow plastic body cavity with expensive cheesecake, we might just pull this off after all.

I wonder if maybe you aren’t supposed to dig him up every two days….

Happy Friday, bitches!

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