Need a way to while away your afternoon? Check out Neil’s Fifth Annual Blogger Christmalhijrahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert! (I counted six ukuleles!) And while you’re there you can blame him for my not getting anything more meaty written today.
Heh. I said meaty. Which makes me think of that damn bacon nativity scene. Again.
Speaking of meat, here’s a little conversation Rocco and I had on his birthday. Parental figures and siblings should probably not read any further.
Me: So I don’t think you’re going to get birthday sex.
Me: I have my period and my panties smell like a hamster. But I could try and give you a birthday blow job if you’d like. *massages recently dentist-defiled jaw and spits blood*
Rocco: Uh, I’m good.
A man turned down a blow job. A MAN TURNED DOWN A BLOW JOB. It’s a Christmas miracle. You may now return to your day.