This Week’s Tweets

  • Just passed a farm stand selling 50 lbs of potatoes for $12. Um, Maryland? What the hell do you do with 50 lbs of potatoes? #
  • So what does Dad says to a crew of sleep deprived, hungover peeps? "It doesn't matter if it's real, it just has to exist." Oh my head. #
  • I have to catch a plane. With that tongue? No way! #
  • The only time I miss having long hair? When I'm desperate for a piece of dental floss and there's none to be found. #
  • My colon feels like someone filled it with mentos and diet coke. Perhaps I'm a wee bit anxious about today's visit with my oncologist. #
  • For those keeping count, I'm 21 months clean! That leaves only 3 more months to the magical 2 year mark. Hells to the yeah. #FuckCancer #

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