I still have face cramps from grinning maniacally while reading this post yesterday. Don’t click over unless you want to lose hours of your life reading through her archives. That girl just plain tickles my funny bone. (That sentence looks weird. I need to stop looking at a computer screen, obviously.)
As I day dreamed about vampires and traipsed around Hoboken yesterday, I got to thinking. (It’s true, no good can come of such a thing.) Vampires do exist. I’m quite sure. Stop laughing. It’s not just wishful thinking. I have proof.
Ladies and gentleman of the jury, I give you Demi Moore.
 1982 |
 1988 |
 1993 |
 1997 |
 2003 |
 2010 |
Those pictures span a period of nearly thirty years. THIRTY YEARS. Obviously she isn’t aging. Like at all. That bitch. Less than 30 years ago I looked like this. Girlie doesn’t seem to be affected by the passing of time at all.
I think Ashton is also a vampire. I’m not sure who “changed” who yet. I’m still researching and testing my hypothesis. Feel free to weigh in with your own.
Just for comparison, let’s look at Bruce then and now:
 Bruce Then |
 |
Yeah. I think it’s safe to say that Bruce isn’t the one who “changed” Demi. No doubt years of trying to keep her situation a secret has taken a toll on the man. Let’s compare the aging process on some one not as entwined with Demi. Like Emilio Estevez:
 Emilio Then |
 Emilio Now |
Go Emilio! You’re holding your own! If I wasn’t comparing you to a vampire, people would probably be pretty impressed with how well you’re holding up after thirty years of listening to your brother’s jokes and rehab stories.
Men have an unfair advantage when it comes to aging. Let me pick another gal. Since I can’t stop dropping lines from Short Circuit, how about Ally Sheedy?
 Ally in 1983 |
 Ally in 2010 |
I rest my case. Vampires are real and Demi Moore is irrefutable proof. Now that THAT’s all settled, where should I send my application?
Yeah, but then you would have to hang out with people like Demi Moore and Emilio Estevez for time and all eternity.
.-= LIbby´s last blog ..The Center of the World =-.
[Reply]
*shudder*
[Reply]
Dear Bug,
Holy crap, I didn’t think I’d get here. In between you and Ms. Wicked I have been lurking blogs of hot men, sex toys and pictures of doors (no idea). Once again, after I read your post I have been vindicated. I have always believed in vampires. Although I question the one that glitters in daylight. FAIL. Only penises and vagina glitter. Vampires melt in the sun not glitter. Get it right Ms. Meyer.
Fangbanger, I mean Virginia.
.-= Virginia´s last blog ..Penis Glitter and Why I am not so sure about that trip to India. =-.
[Reply]
Wait, glitter melts in the sun? THE HORROR!
Well played, Fangbaner.
[Reply]
Further proof: Nicole Kidman.
ps: you make an awesome vampire!
.-= pattypunker´s last blog ..happy easter a la patty punker =-.
[Reply]
She’s even pasty white! You are on to something. Plus she already has the “dingo stole my baby” voice going for her.
[Reply]
And here I foolishly thought that Demi Moore’s appearance just proved the existence of plastic surgeons! Thanks for enlightening me!
.-= Debra She Who Seeks´s last blog ..At home now, recuperating =-.
[Reply]
No, no – that’s Joan Rivers.
[Reply]
I couldn’t be a vampire. I like to drink my blood on the rocks.
Demi claims she’s never had plastic surgery. And I believe that Santa Claus the Easter Bunny and Jesus had a three way in Cabo last Spring break…
.-= Amanda@BrilliantSulk´s last blog ..Don’t Feel Sorry For The Handicapped Dragons =-.
[Reply]
I have video. Aww to the yeah!
[Reply]
You know who else is a vampire?? MILA JOVANOVONIVITICH or whoever. Also Larry King (It just makes sense). Also Cindy Crawford. Tyra Banks isn’t. Whoopie Goldberg might be. I can’t tell if she’s aging or if she’s just always been 67.
.-= Hellachella´s last blog ..Beach Vampire Bingo =-.
[Reply]
Demi doesn’t even look like herself anymore.
Bruce = so hot.
.-= Sarah P´s last blog ..On Field Day, Everyone is a Winner =-.
[Reply]
Demi definitely turned Ashton. She was around back in the 17th Century. I am fairly certain she turned him in the early 1900′s. It all comes together in my dreams. Also a vampire, Ann Curry from The Today Show. Which makes me incredibly happy. Smart, beautiful and will always be there. *comforted vagina face*
.-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog ..So I Saved A Few People Today =-.
[Reply]
I totally agree! Good investigative work!
I will not click on that link. But oh I am dying inside…
.-= subWOW´s last blog ..One Ellen DeGeneres is not enough =-.
[Reply]
Curses! I didn’t heed your warning. Well, it’s easy to see why you fell in love with her blog.
.-= subWOW´s last blog ..One Ellen DeGeneres is not enough =-.
[Reply]
Hella Chella is some kind of awesome!
And Demi is a Vampire for sure…remember general hospital back when there was no tv and you had to listen to it on the radio…she was there!
Some people think I am a vampire…but its just because I burst into flames in the sun and have an extraordinary sense of smell…oh and the fang.
I haven’t drank human blood yet though so I am the good kind.
.-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..Sleepsex, Dog Years & Grapefruit =-.
[Reply]
That guy standing behind Demi in the 2010 photo clearly suspects as much. Look at his eyes. He’s getting ready to whip out his stake and hammer to end it all.
So anyway, I’m more disturbed by that freaky ass picture of current Ally Sheedy you managed to dig up.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..A Trip Through Your Wires =-.
[Reply]
She was on Psych – my guilty pleasure. She looks good as a deranged serial killer, right?
[Reply]
vampire? I’ve always suspected robot… blood-sucking robot perhaps??? hhmmm.
.-= Ry Sal´s last blog ..Stranger Things Have Happened =-.
[Reply]
She probably eats placenta and stuff to maintain that youthful glow.
.-= Andrea´s last blog .."People Are Strange" — originally posted 8/28/09 =-.
[Reply]