I know I write about my vagina a lot. Ok A LOT a lot A LOT. But I still hesitated when SEXIS invited me to write a piece for their webzine. I went to my brother for advice.
Me: I got a call back to write for a sex magazine.
Drew: make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird make me a bird
I took that as a vote for no and proceeded to call the rents.
Me: How would you feel if I wrote for a sex zine?
Mom: What’s a zine? Wait, did you say sex?
Me: It’s an online magazine that specializes in sex oriented content.
Mom: Porn?
Me: No, it’s definitely not porn.
Mom: Please don’t write porn.
Me: Mom, it’s NOT porn.
Dad: Is it erotica?
Mom: What’s the difference?
Me: It’s NEITHER PORN NOR EROTICA! I promise.
Dad: If it’s not erotica, it’s definitely not porn.
Mom: Honey, I always support you – no matter what you do. But do you really have to write PORN?
Me: It’s actually a very professional site – it’s full of journalistic integrity, strong writers, humorists, activists…(mumbling) and butt plugs.
Mom: My daughter the porn writer.
Dad: Wouldn’t you technically have to clean up your act to write for a porn site?
So yes – I wrote an article for SEXIS Magazine. No – it’s not porn. It’s actually a deeply personal piece on cancer, and how sex helped me survive. Writing this piece definitely makes my list of the top five most difficult things I’ve ever done, but I’m glad I did it. I debated long and hard (that’s what she said) about sharing it with you kids since it’s such a departure from my normal shtick, but I told a few people, then they told a few people, and suddenly I’m getting these wonderful letters from people I’ve never met. I tell you, I’m downright squishy from all the lovin’.
Now in my dizzy delirium, I’m sharing the link before I change my mind. So, maybe go read it – even if it’s not the single funniest thing I’ve ever written. Then tell all your friends about it.
And yes…I too am amused that I wrote an article about sex and didn’t use the word vagina once.
Congratulations. Oh my god, you are famous. Not that I read the sexis zine but, The bloggess writes for that zine also (and remember I don’t read it?) Thanks for the link.
Wow you now have rubbed elbows (or other parts) with the bloggess.
.-= Virginia´s last blog ..Monday Detox – Random Weekend Wrap Up !- WTF Lady Gaga =-.
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I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to learn of all the rubbing that I’ve been doing. You should see what I did to James Garfield when she wasn’t looking.
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A beautiful story, beautifully written. I can’t even begin to imagine the journey you’ve been on.
.-= Debra She Who Seeks´s last blog ..Last Day to Enter! =-.
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Thanks, muffin.
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My God girl, you are a powerful writer. I can hardly see to type this. It’s impossible to imagine the horror, pain and terror you must have done battle with. I know you are a remarkable person, now I know a little about what shaped you this way. Funny how those who have walked through fire, mostly end up being the most joyous ones to know. You are pretty amazing, my friend. (x)
.-= Shrinky´s last blog ..This n’ That =-.
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*blushes*
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Was not expecting to cry at a sex column! Really nice work, Elly. Amazing . . .
.-= Andrea´s last blog .."Sweet Child O’ Mine" =-.
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Wrong bodily fluid, eh?
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*proud to know you vagina face*
.-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog ..Wicked Girl Who Doesn’t Care Much For Happy Endings, Except My Own, Of Course =-.
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*vagina bumps*
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Elly, I love you even though you made me cry.
Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I will be thinking about it long after I turn off my computer. Long after.
I hope your powerful and inspirational words reach the eyes of those who need them most.
You are incredible and my new hero.
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No crying! Will you promise to stop if I let you wear my new cape and leotard?
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Now I have to go re-apply my mascara…
Thank you for taking a risk. This one was definitely worth the difficulty.
.-= Harna´s last blog ..Take This Job and Love It =-.
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I’m glad you shared that, Elly. “Beautifully written, powerful, and amazing” are words that describe not only your writing, but also your person.
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You are far too kind…as usual. I still like it.
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Wow, Elly! Incredible.
And you are so funny.
.-= Aunt Juicebox´s last blog ..Tis But A Flesh Wound =-.
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Oh my Elly. That was beautiful. And fabulously well written and articulate. And even through the serious subject matter, your complete “Elly-ness” shown through. You rock lady. Don’t ever doubt it.
♥Spot
.-= Spot´s last blog ..Aliens & anal probes = reality TV =-.
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If you weren’t sick, I’d probably lick you.
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Aw, sweetie…that was lovely. Very brave of you to share it. Not that this is the same, but there was a line there that I said a year ago myself, “I trusted my body.” For me, it was after childbirth. As a daughter, grand-daughter, and great-grand-daughter of reproductive cancer carriers (two of whom died of the disease), I have come to think of my reproductive system as a bomb waiting to go off. To see it produce a child, to go through the labor process…well, afterward, I also said, “I trust my body.” How wonderful for you to find life affirmed.
Also? You know we’re all waiting to read your porn.
.-= Falling´s last blog ..Instructions for a Moment of Perfection =-.
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I’m pretty sure my mom isn’t waiting to read my porn.
That must make Tankbaby all the more special. Thanks for sharing that personal nugget. Of course I now just adore you even more. Now look what you’ve done.
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excellent article. can I have sex with you and Rocco too?
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Dude, you are a total rock star and an amazing writer. Congrats!!
.-= marymac´s last blog ..First Ever Pajamas and Coffee DOUCHE Award Goes To… =-.
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I once submitted an article titled, ‘Labia – the other white meat’ but it was rejected. Something about racism in the title.
People are never happy.
.-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Wrapping up the Week – March 21, 2010 =-.
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That was a beautiful piece.
And you know, as always, your parents are priceless. What does your dad mean by “Wouldn’t you technically have to clean up your act to write for a porn site?” Did he confuse this with running government office?
.-= subWOW´s last blog ..WTF Wednesday: Here, have an MRI =-.
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F you Elly. You’re always making me cry. My vagina is crying too. Are you happy now?
Seriously though, lovely article. You’re pretty darn awesome…
.-= Amanda@BrilliantSulk´s last blog ..Would You Eat This? =-.
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As you know I read it and Slapped your ass afterwards. You are…. you are… fuck. Your words will stay with me for ever.
.-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..Voodoo Ass Twitch =-.
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You may have beaten yourself over writing that, but you nailed it..that was beautiful Elly, don’t ever doubt your ability to write porn… Keep living! I’m sharing this one with MY parents!
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Aww shit Elly. That was…..wonderful.
Destructicorn just shed a magical rainbow colored tear.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Notes From the Underground =-.
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