Drenched Diary
Recently I had a bit of a water bottle malfunction and emptied a half liter of Jersey’s finest aquifer into my handbag. While Webster emerged unscathed from the depths of my purse, my moleskine did not survive. I was able to salvage a few quotes that must be documented before I toss this bad boy out:
- Mom (after licking Drew at a bar as we celebrated his 40th birthday): I’m way saltier than he is…(eying the rest of the family nervously) don’t even try it.
- Thom (in response to Mom’s statement that she never sees the kids): You’re the one who wanted us to make something of ourselves.
- Mike (I can’t remember where or why this was said but I sure as hell wrote it down – I’m sure it was at a family function): Dad said you took the cock.
- Mom (as we all try and determine where the fowl stench surrounding the table originated): It’s not me – it’s not my flavor.
- Unknown (I can’t remember who said this but I sure remember writing it down during a night of wings and pitchers at Black Bear): My vagina is a penis cozy.
- Rocco (talking about a small child chasing fireflies): If he catches one, let’s see if we can get him to smash one onto his front tooth so he can look all gangsta.
I guess it’s a good thing I’ve got Dad’s trusty recorder to pick up the slack until I find a new notebook!
I recall being told of a convo of friend’s young daughter, by young I mean 5ish, had with her in which she, the daughter, described her privates as her “finger house”.
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