I really need to check my horoscope and see what in the hell is going on with me this week. I’m fully devoid of energy and focus. It just took me twenty minutes to figure out how to get my crock pot going. Did I mention there’s only one button on that thing? It’s hardly a [...]
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Screw coffee-a good cut to your thumb and blood flung onto your forehead REALLY wakes you up. I’m one coordinated gal. I #blamedrewscancer. # The Goose I think (knock on wood) that Lucy Goosey is in the clear. I have based this hypothesis on several pieces of evidence. The vomit-a-thon has ceased. Oh she still does that weird trick where she occasionally gets so excited she regurgitates her undigested food in the form of one solid soggy stinky log. She keeps the food in [...] It’s funny. Well, it’s not so much funny as in “ha ha” funny. Then again, it’s not really funny in a “weird” sort of funny way. I guess it’s more of an “awkward” funny, like “wow-that-mime-is-restringing-a-tennis-racquet-while-singing-”kookaburra-sits-in-the-old-oak-tree” kinda funny. No, that analogy totally leaves out the disturbing angle. I guess it’s more of a “small-shackled-child-in-mime-makeup-restringing-a-tennis-racquet-while-singing” type of [...] Drenched Diary Recently I had a bit of a water bottle malfunction and emptied a half liter of Jersey’s finest aquifer into my handbag. While Webster emerged unscathed from the depths of my purse, my moleskine did not survive. I was able to salvage a few quotes that must be documented before I toss this bad [...] I have a love/hate relationship with Sloan-Kettering. Well, obviously I hate them because they have a tendency to stick needles in random places on my body and generally frighten the bejeezus out of me. The thing is, they’re all just so damn NICE about it – hence the love. Yesterday was another dreaded visit to see Dr. [...] Holy niftiness, Batman! As you well know, I’ve been desperately pining for a little patch of dirt ever since I moved to the city. I often daydream about what veggies I would cram into the fictitious garden I tend in my head. There would be kale, brussel sprouts, strawberries, and tomatoes. Copious quantities of tomatoes! Nothing [...] I'm positive that big wet explosive sneeze has been lurking all day and was just laying in wait for me to apply mascara.I #blamedrewscancer # I’m getting soft. Three weeks of traveling through the Midwest and down to Virginia has buffed off my city shell. My inner, unsuspecting, small town, southern gal is rearing her nasty, pig-tailed head. It’s sort of like when you spend the whole summer walking around in flip flops, then spend a few weeks coddling your feet in [...] |
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